Silicone Alley sent me this off her website.
Looks like he has more to say as well...
Thanks Sili...
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Lions & Tigers & Bears
OH MY!
OH MY!
Pop term of the day:
Grand Theft Impairment
Grand Theft Impairment
The 4-hour period of time that you cannot drive or function in society due to playing Grand Theft Auto. You may have the intention to steal a car, kill innocent people, and/or drive recklessly.
Girl: Hey you wanna come pick me up so we can go to the movies?
Guy: Aww, I wish but I have grand theft impairment, I can come later though.
Urban Dictionary
Friday, January 29, 2010
Email of the week
this week so here it is...
…near the St. Augustine outlet, in a new KB homes subdivision.
15 foot Eastern Diamondback rattlesnake.
Largest ever caught on record.
At least it wasn’t found in a Wal-Mart garden shop.
Makes ya wish ya lived in Florida don’t it?
Pop term of the day:
iSmear
iSmear
A long horizontal smear on the bottom of your Iphone caused from answering a call using the slide bar with a greasy finger.
Mike: Yo maing whats that dirty mark on your iPhone?
Trev: ahh thats just an iSmear from my greasy finger.
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
10 signs that he’s not the one, although life in denial is much less painful.
Can you fathom what your life would be like if you had 19 children?
San Francisco has an abortion rally where 80 pro-choice proponents meet 40,000 pro-lifers. This is the kind of change I like!
How can a 4 year old be allowed to roam the streets drinking beer and stealing Christmas presents from neighbors, only to be given back to his mother?
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Political Pisshap
I'm not a lip reader, but it sure looked like Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito said "not true" during the President's State of the Union speech. Would that be the same as calling the President a liar?
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If the people say "no" and the Senate says "no", why would the President do it anyway?
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All hell is breaking loose in Washington over the Supreme Court’s decision to allow limitless corporate campaign contributions. If you want to know why, scroll down and read the article entitled, “527s, Corporations & You”.
Liberals, be afraid, be very afraid!
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MSNBC political commentator is very upset about the political influence of corporations… even though parent company GE is in bed with the current administration.
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Union warns the President that if universal healthcare doesn’t pass, they might not be there for him at midterm elections. So much for loyalty…
Pop term of the day:
iphone effect
iphone effect
shortly after one person in the group brings out their iphone, the rest follow suit, ultimately ending all conversation and eye contact.
"Hey, what do you want to order for drinks?"
"Not sure, let's see what Imbibe Magazine has for their best beer this month."
First iphone comes out of the pocket--enter safari search. Next iphone comes out--enter Facebook post. Third iphone makes an entrance -- the iphone effect has arrived.
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
This has to be one of the best sales pitches in the food industry. “4 Foods to Help You Look Years Younger”
I don’t know if I believe that people aren’t meant to have more that 150 friends…
Have you ever seen the world’s biggest machine and would you even know what it’s for?
If you're really interested in knowing the body language of a liar, here's your chance.
For those of you who know someone with a beer belly, you need to see the real deal!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Pop term of the day:
oral sex
oral sex
The act of two persons using their mouths to perform sexual intercourse.
These two persons can be of the same or opposite sex but they are rarely a married couple.
i got a little piece of heaven last night when i got some sweet oral sex
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
Gawker is reporting that a sex tape has turned up featuring John Edwards. Viewers find his speaking ability not his biggest asset!
For you devious whistleblowers out there, here are 20 super cool spy cameras for almost every situation.
Toyota halts sales on 8 new car models. Can you imagine what that’s gonna cost?
A high school girls' basketball coach in Kansas was told he'd win tickets to the Final Four if he hit a half-court shot while blindfolded.
The crowd was instructed to scream wildly when his attempt inevitably failed (because, really, that shot is nearly impossible) so the coach would think the shot went in.
For an instant, he'd think he was Final-Four-bound and then the joke would be revealed. There was just one problem, though: He made it!I expect a new resolve and a new hope and change tonight from the President in his State of the Union address. If you believe him, you're an idiot...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Pop term of the day:
time vampire
time vampire
Something or someone who literally sucks your time like a vampire sucks blood.
My computer broke again, I spent all night working on that fricking time vampire.
Urban Dictionary
I wish I said that..
Judgement comes from experience, and great judgement comes from bad experience.
Robert Packwood
Rambling on...
So, if you’re a rich phat-daddy gangsta rapper, what kind of car do you get your son for his sixteenth birthday? P Diddy got his boy a brand new Maybank for the bargain basement price of $360,000.
If you’re a seven year old and you paint six pictures a week, what happens if you are able to sell them for over $1,400 and they wait in line to buy them?
There are some people in San Antonio whose homes are about to fall through the cracks. Literally!
Can you imagine winning your state championship golf tournament by 7 strokes, only to realize a one-stroke mistake was made on your score-card?
Also imagine you were the only one who noticed. Would you call attention to the mistake if it disqualified you? Van Houten did just that…
Monday, January 25, 2010
Pop term of the day:
Dick Offset
Dick Offset
Similar to a carbon offset. Involves bringing a girl/girls to a party to increase your chances of getting in by negating the effect of another guy in the place.
Guy 1: Damn, this party is a real sausage fest, we're never getting in.
Guy 2: Relax, I brought Alesia and Watermelondrea as dick offsets.
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
So, I take Mrs. Crane to a nice restaurant and before our meal arrives, decide to call and check on a friend. Being the gentlemen that I seldom am, I excuse myself from the table so as to not be rude.
The friend was okay, but at the end of the call, the automatic flush on the toilet activated... how embarrassing! I hate those damn things!So you really want to know why marriage in America is failing? It’s because wives are now the more educated spouses.
Here’s a cute little commercial demonstrating the Doritos bitch slap…
You know times are hard when those Google dudes sell 11% of the outstanding stock. I don’t know how they will survive on a measly $5 billion, do you?
For those of you ladies who are clueless as to when to drop your man and find another one, here’s a good guide you might want to use.
You might be surprised where the most expensive small town in the U. S. is located and how much it costs to live there…
Did you know Bridgeport happens to have the best keep secret in fine dining in illustrious County of Wise. The Stagecoach Steakhouse (formerly the Sagebrush Cafe) not only reminds me of a quiet, exclusive eating establishment with a romantic flare, it also caters to voracious carnivores with healthy appetites.
In the evenings, you will find the clientele and atmosphere much different from its lunch crowd. You will also find a touch of class found in only a handful of local establishments.
Don't be surprised if you have to wait for a table if you don't make reservations. Bon appetit!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Pop term of the day:
hyphenated
hyphenated
A woman who is married.
She friended me on Facebook. She's hot, but unfortunately, she is hyphenated.
Urban Dictionary
Out of the mouthes of babes
A mother was teaching her three-year-old The Lord's Prayer. For several evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then one night the child was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride to the carefully enunciated words, right up to the end. 'And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail'.
********* A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, 'The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.'
His son asked, 'What happened to the flea?'
********* After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied, 'That priest said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!'
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THREE DADS Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers.
The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50.'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And it takes eight people to collect all the money!'
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