Saturday, January 2, 2010

Recap on 2009

Pleasantly sickening...

Pop term of the day: 2KX

2KX

An abbreviation of the year 2010 from the Roman numerical system (K meaning 1000 and X meaning 10).

Dude, it's 2KX next year!


Urban Dictionary

Is this not messed up?

The future of evolution?

Friday, January 1, 2010

My Wish for You in 2010

May peace break into your home and may thieves come to steal your debts.

May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 bills.

May love stick to your face like Vaseline and may laughter assault your lips!

May happiness slap you across the face and may your tears be that of joy

May the problems you had, forget your home address!

In simple words ............

May 2010 be the best year of your life!!!


Denney Crane

Songs of 2009


Blame It On The Pop

Tattoos never lie!

Yea, right!

Wrongfully Convicted

Pop term of the day:
telecountdown

telecountdown

Counting down towards the new years together over the phone (cell) when physically not able to be together due to distance or circumstances.

"
Janny, let's telecountdown together tonight"


Urban Dictionary

Okay, Blogspot, get ready for war

You guys have got to do something about the technical difficulties that are unexplainable... namely, explain them.

JUST TESTING

We are having technical difficulties

Please bear with me while I go through my html string to find why my blog is now using a microfont. There is no telling what I will have to do to get it right, so you may see things that you never knew were possible...

Coons prefer Pepsi

Thursday, December 31, 2009

Don't kid yourself folks...

Tonight

is

amateur

night!

Stay off the roads!

public service announcment brought to you by

Crane, Poole & Schmidt
and by
the ghost of the King
Elvis
and by
Mel Gibson
the abominable snow man

and your mother's smelly ass

Quote of the month...

Think of what it took for the father, one of the most respected bankers in Nigeria, to walk into the American Embassy and turn in his own son. The father’s a hero. His visit by itself should have been enough to set off all kinds of alarms.

THOMAS H. KEAN, chairman of the 9/11 commission, on Alhaji Umaru Mutallab, whose son is charged with trying to blow up an American jetliner.

Monkeys eating jello...


Pop term of the day:
Amazonukkah

Amazonukkah


When Christmas really lasts 8 days because the presents take longer to deliver from Amazon.com than anticipated by the purchaser. This is often caused by the reckless use of Super Saver Shipping on items which were bought on Christmas Eve. As a result, the presents are received in small amounts each day over an 8 day period, similar to Hanukkah.

Kid 1:
Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?

Kid 2:
I dunno, we're celebrating Amazonukkah this year. My parents are real procrastinators. FML


Urban Dictionary

Rambling on...

Kate Winslet
  • I just realized after reading a quote by Ann Landers that my top 5 reference books is Emily Post's "Guide to Proper Etiquette". I actually keep it in my restroom where my biggest decisions are made...

  • Although Emily is long passed, I do appreciate someone showing us appropriate behaviors in most areas of everyday life. I happen to disagree with it occasionally, but it doesn't make me right...just thoughtful

  • And for the men’s self help link, here’s your chance to use 12 days to be a better man. I found this after it was halfway through, so start at the beginning. No cheating!!! Might make a great New Year’s resolution…

  • Good women care for their man. Great women take great care of their man. The best women take great care of their man and know how to plan a dinner party ~ man style!

  • As a diehard conservative I hate most liberal ideology. Arianna Huffington’s blog almost always makes me sick, but on very rare occasions, she has an intriguing idea. I wonder if there’s a catch…

  • About the time I think the Gallup polling organization is infallible, they print something like this! I believe they would get similar results if they changed "most popular" to "most hated".

  • Once again, I proudly present the Wise Regional Health Care System Employee Spotlight video.

  • REPOST: I get a kick how everyone sure wasted no time in kicking me under the bus when I criticized the new Air Evac company for spending money on uniforms and paint jobs instead of the working condition of the aircraft.

  • What tells me the most about these uncultured name-slingers, is that not one simple-minded son of a bitch apologized or admitted they could be wrong for their addlebrained, asinine, intolerant behavior. How do these people sleep nights?...

  • Just remember, God loves you and I'm praying for you!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Now don't you worry!

Classy or Classless?

Class is an aura of confidence that is being sure without being cocky. Class has nothing to do with money. Class never runs scared. It is self-discipline and self-knowledge. It's the sure footedness that comes with having proved you can meet life.

Ann Landers


I get a kick how everyone sure wasted no time in kicking me under the bus when I criticized the new Air Evac company for spending money on uniforms and paint jobs instead of the working condition of the aircraft.

What tells me the most about these uncultured name-slingers, is that not one simple-minded son of a bitch apologized or admitted they could be wrong for their addlebrained, asinine, intolerant behavior. How do these people sleep nights...?

Just remember, God loves you and I'm praying for you!

You make the call...


The devil or
his minion?

Pop term of the day:
YouTube Loop

YouTube Loop

When you go to watch a quick 30 second video on YouTube and regain consciousness hours later having jumped from interesting video to interesting video.

Similar to a wikipedian loop or 'WikiComa'

Clarence: "Dude, you totally missed the funeral yesterday!"

T-dawg: "Yeah I know; somebody emailed me a funny clip and I got stuck in a YouTube loop..."


Urban Dictionary

Rambling on...

Ann Margaret
  • I can only imagine what it would be like to attend the World Series of Beer Pong in Las Vegas this weekend. over 800 participants last year ~ you get the picture…

  • Here’s 20 teams favored to split $50,000 in prize money…as well as catch a good buzz!

  • Some people think alcohol addiction is a problem, some drug companies want to make a profit from it with alcohol pills. Will they actually sell this poison?

  • Here are 5 ways to let a drinking buddy die from excessive alcohol consumption… don’t believe everything you’ve heard.

  • The top 15 video games of the last decade have made billions and influenced the minds and behaviors of our youth. Do you even know what they are?

    On the political scene...
  • Liberals are not happy with the President's lackadaisical attitude over last Friday's terrorist attempt. Many of them are quite angry. Much of their anger is caused by fear. You go girls!!!

  • What I find really funny, is that they finally know how conservatives feel!

  • Part of me wonders what the hell is left in Detroit worth blowing up... Now that the Union is through with the place, might as well let Al Qaeda have it for demolishion exercises. I thought the yanks wanted them GITMO grinders in their hood?!?!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Missing Maine wife

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident off the coast of Maine, a man answered his door to find two grim-faced State Troopers. "We know it's late, sir, but we have some information about your wife," said one of the Troopers.

"Tell me! Did you find her!?", the husband shouted.

The Troopers looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said "Give me the bad news first."

The second Trooper said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the good news?"

The Trooper continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 6 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 12 good-size lobsters clinging to her."

Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great news???"

The Trooper answered, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."


h/t AJ

Quote to live by...

'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'



h/t AJ

Toon of the day

Pop term of the day:
postsantum depression

postsantum depression

The incredible letdown some folks experience when they realize Christmas is over

(typical Monday after Christmas office discussion)

Holy hell, why is Michelle ragging it with me?

It's not just you, she's got a bad case of postsantum depression.



Urban Dictionary

Rambling on...

Gisele Bundchen

  • Did anyone notice Freddie Mac stock value was up 27% yesterday? Get ready to see $2.50 again...

  • I happen to agree that these are actually 50 things successful people have in common.

  • Tiger’s sponsors may need a government bailout. Estimated losses between $5-12 billion. Ouch!

  • Is this secret weapon for real? If so, it changes everything…

  • This is the very reason that hamsters make a terrible gift for your teacher!

  • Punishment may not be a deterrent for drug smugglers, but in China, if they get caught, they only spend a couple of years in jail and never, ever do it again… Those Chinese are real problem solvers!

Monday, December 28, 2009

Unnecessary humor


Prepare yourself for
the new liberal Utopia


Here's a preview

Pop term of the day:
christmas tight

christmas tight

The period of time after Christmas and New Years where the clothes you wore prior to the holidays that fit well, all of a sudden are a little tighter than they should be.

"I got this new dress shirt for Christmas. I went to wear it with my favorite work pants, but they are a little Christmas tight now."

Urban Dictionary

Rambling on...

Selta Ebanks
  • For those of you wondering about your Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae stock, Christmas day this headline hit the press.

    The Obama administration pledged on Thursday to back beleaguered mortgage finance giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac no matter how big their losses may be in the next three years.

    Could you imagine what would happen if a federal investigation ensued due to bankruptcy?

    Too many heads would roll. "Congressional prison time"... It ain't happening!

    I don't see the U.S. government letting any company go under that they control, as long as it is independent of regulation and free from accountability.

  • So you don’t want to go to jail while you await your trial and you’ve got plenty of coin? Just hire a bail sitter. Bernie did it…with other people’s money!

  • Many Catholic hospitals have split with the Roman Catholic bishops on abortion in the healthcare bill. It's just easier to put our faith in money.

  • After countless billions spent on the war on terror, the U.S. chooses to let this terrorist fly into Detroit after his father warned us about him…

    So much for the CIA wanting to help the current government... they're too busy worrying about being put in jail for questionable tactics!

    However, I do like the way the passengers took this guy out

  • If you wonder if this administration is doing everything it can to keep our soldiers safe, then you must first ask why the death rate of our troops have doubled in Afghanistan. It’s hard to argue with actual numbers.

Now that we've cleared the air of stench, you can go ahead and start planning next weekend. Just be careful if you're flying commercial...or by air ambulance.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Pop term of the day:
Jingle Bowels

Jingle Bowels

Gastrointestinal woes following a night of holiday overindulgence

Someone spiked the eggnog and Justin spent copious porcelain time after waking up with a wicked case of the Jingle Bowels.


Urban Dictionary

Denney Crane condemned to hell... AGAIN!

Why won't he go quietly?


The Deity, in his infinite wisdom, prefers we take the fight outside his blog, which is probably the best thing. He runs a classy blog and isn’t much for haters… So, all you haters are welcome here if you curb your profanity.

For those of you who aren’t aware, it all started when The Diety posted the following and I made a comment several people got upset over.

Breaking
Ambulance helicopter crashed at Wise Regional hospital in Decatur. No 
life threatening injuries.

Then, I left the following comment:

Denney Crane said...

So much for the new paint job and uniforms. Sounds like there were a few other changes as well... ambulance jockeys!

3:46 PM

First, I have prayed for those who were injured in the accident. If you haven’t, please do so.

Second, I apologize to all EMT/paramedics who are not ambulance jockeys, you know who you are...

Next, my first thought was that it may have been better if the new company had spent money on the power plant of the aircraft than on new uniforms and a new paint job on the aircraft, which is probably accurate. I just said it in a way to provoke thought and controversy. I succeeded on the second part.

I think the riff came when I used the term “ambulance jockey”, which is not a nice way to describe EMTs and paramedics. For those unfamiliar with the insulting term, this guy explains it as well as anyone.

After reading The Deity's post, my thoughts created questions when I remembered the following news story:

December 23, 2009 ~ While her injuries were not life-threatening, … was transported to John Peter Smith Hospital in Fort Worth by helicopter. WCM

  • Who made the life saving call on this one?

  • What would have happened if there was a real emergency while the crew was out on this (unnecessary) call?

  • Could it have cost a life?

Due to recent news reports, I have several questions and so should you. Are these people above reproach? How can anyone acknowledge this new company as sinless saints without knowing the rest of the story? There is only one way to pay for that machine and its crew, and as users of the service, I don't think I'm out of line for having a few questions.

But go ahead and label me “stupid ignorant bastard, pathetic, miserable, a waste of oxygen, smartass, you suck, you trash talk them, cranial rectalitis, sad pitiful little man in so many ways, a ignorant fool, you are a fool, We will dance on your grave". Even a friend described my comments by saying the following: ‘normally "solid citizens", fairly ridiculous and dark hearted comments, nasty attitude’, and then compares me to Terry Ross.

Please forgive the comparison Commissioner, you didn't do anything wrong but ask questions in a public forum. It might as well have been the Pope.

I erroneously made a statement about carburetor ice, that is not a factor on a turbine engine, which I didn’t know the aircraft possessed. Moreover, the point was that operator error is 90% of aircraft accidents and weather is very much a factor. I also said "new crew" which was also wrong. I can always be wrong; which, by the way, I'm not afraid to admit.

I was taken to a Metroplex hospital by air ambulance one time. The emts/paramedics didn’t want to drive me there so they called for the aircraft. It helped to know I had good insurance. My life was not saved by the aircraft ride, no other ambulances were on out-of-county calls; I was in no position to argue with someone who had control over my pain medication.

I have the highest respect and admiration for those men and women who choose to save lives as a career. The pay sucks, the hours are terrible, the conditions are less than optimum and almost the lowest rung of the health profession ladder. There can only be a few reasons anyone would choose doing it:

1. saving lives/making a difference
2. more training for a higher position
3. pride/ego/uniform
4. drama
5. money (or lack thereof)

Yes, after this accident and the recent news of its use, I question the practices and motives of the air ambulance in Decatur. Profit is one of them. If you don’t, we live in a different America… (non-profit organizations included). I am not against profit, but safety comes first...

Aircraft flight regulations are written in blood, which is one reason they're still being written. If we mix profit with blood, the mixture tends to increase and decrease at a similar rate.

but, as always, I could be wrong...

Denney Crane

EDIT: 9:04 PM

It's 2009 Now-Whatever Happened to the FBI Investigation into Air-Evac Helicopters? Somerville County Salon


EDIT 9:05 PM: Straight from the NTSB website


Look who's coming to dinner

Okay, you have an independent cat, comes and goes as he pleases. In all honesty, he doesn't know he's a cat, he thinks he's just another member of the family. So when he makes a new friend, he wants to introduce him to the family, maybe share his food and show him just how good his life is at home...


The Dark Candle

A man had a little daughter-an only and much-beloved child. He lived for her ~ she was his life. So when she became ill and her illness resisted the efforts of the best obtainable physicians, he became like a man possessed, moving heaven and earth to bring about her restoration to health.

His best efforts proved unavailing and the child died. The father was totally irreconcilable. He became a bitter recluse, shutting himself away from his many friends and refusing every activity that might restore his poise and bring him back to his normal self. But one night he had a dream. He was in Heaven, and was witnessing a grand pageant of all the little child angels. They were marching in an apparently endless line past the Great White Throne. Every white-robed angelic tot carried a candle. He noticed that one child's candle was not lighted. Then he saw that the child with the dark candle was his own little girl. Rushing to her, while the pageant faltered, he seized her in his arms, caressed her tenderly, and then asked: "How is it, darling that your candle alone is unlighted? "Father, they often relight it, but your tears always put it out."

Just then he awoke from his dream. The lesson was crystal clear, and its effects were immediate. From that hour on he was not a recluse, but mingled freely and cheerfully with his former friends and associates. No longer would his little darling's candle be extinguished by his useless tears.


Strickland Gillilan
Inspirational Stories