A phrase popular among first year Latin students, the phrase means "always wear underwear." The literal translation is "always where under where."
Pope: "Hey...did you hear what those American's said? "
Cardinals, yawning: "No, holiness."
Pope: "Semper Ubi Sub Ubi."
Cardinals: "Semper...always where under where...underwear! Ha, you've gotten us again holiness. You damn trickster! "
Urban Dictionary
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Pop term of the day:
Semper Ubi Sub Ubi
Semper Ubi Sub Ubi
Rambling on...
Just in case you were asleep this decade, here are the top 10 discoveries of the decade. Some of the greatest discoveries to date.
Remember a few months ago when the President and Congress enacted a bill for sweeping credit card reform? You know it’s working when companies can charge 79.9% interest.
Some thieves should do their homework before they go steal copper tubing… like find out what’s running through it!
The "Redistribution of Wealth" campaign promise is coming to pass with President 0bama reportedly pledging $20 billion in U.S. funding (20%) a year to the climate change opportunists at the Copenhagen talks. This action has to be approved by Congress.
To put this in perspective, the total amount of foreign aide presently provided by the United States is $26 billion a year for all other programs.
Let me get this straight. The U.S. government will send $46 billion a year to other countries in foreign aide using borrowed money. What about our hungry, homeless and jobless? It would be cheaper to buy the rain forests straight out.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Pop term of the day:
Chipmunk gift
Chipmunk gift
A seemingly generous present that will benefit the giver as much as the receiver.
On an old Chipmunks Christmas album, Alvin, Simon, and Theodore give Dave a gift. He's overwhelmed with their generosity until he discovers it's an empty bag, which the Chipmunks say is for him to fill with presents and give back to them.
My friend gave me such a Chipmunk gift this year. She bought me a CD by HER favorite group and then asked to copy it because she's too cheap to buy her own CD AND a present for me.
That back bedroom at my mom's house is freezing! I hate staying there when we visit. Is it too much of a Chipmunk gift if I buy her a space heater for Christmas?
My husband took me to the Monster Truck Expo for my birthday. Jeez, what a Chipmunk gift. What was he thinking?
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
First, it was an eagle that hunted and took down deer, now it’s the best damn salmon fishing dog I’ve ever seen.
Then there was the man in Arizona who was attacked by a rabid bobcat. He killed it with his bare hands…
Ice fishing Canadians are a crazy cult, but some are just plain insane. It’s great to be alive!
It is now official, Senator Franken is now the leading assclown of the dishonorable establishment known as the United States Senate.
Of course, there are very few who know the exact details of how Cap & Trade will affect the U.S. One thing I do know, something is very wrong when they treat Hugo Chavez like a rock star!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."
You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
You own a $3,000 machine gun, but you can't afford shoes.
You have more wives than teeth.
You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
You consider television dangerous, but carry explosives in your clothing.
You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs
You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.
Your cousin is president of the United States.
h/t Madman Mango
Pop term of the day:
immaculate congestion
immaculate congestion
When traffic is backed up for miles on a highway, crawling along -- and then suddenly everyone returns to normal high speeds without passing an accident, stalled car, or road construction.
We spent 45 minutes bumper-to-bumper for no reason?!? It must be immaculate congestion.
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
This page of pics reminds me of Ace Freely and Kiss. What type of skills do girls with freakishly long tongues possess?
A woman who suffered nerve damage in a car accident is left with persistent sexual arousal syndrome which causes her to constantly crave sex. Please tell me why scientists aren’t working night and day to replicate this phenomenon?
McDonald's is gearing up for a record breaking year of sales. They believe sales will increase 125% once they announce they're giving away a Nobel Peace Prize with every Happy Meal.
Now that you’ve taken care of buying Christmas for everyone, it’s time to think of yourself and jump on some great last minute deals. I am!
If there was ever a gift that no one wanted, this one comes close. I mean really, who on earth would buy this?
The sign of things to come… “To combat a nationwide shortage of doctors, medical schools in the U.S. plan to add 3,000 first- year students by 2018. It won’t be enough.”
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Your tax dollars at work!
I get frequented by many different government organizations on a daily basis. Tuesday the GSA in Gaithersburg, Maryland stopped by for a visit. What caught my eye is how they found me on Google. You must read the "Search Words"
Rape is legal if the perp
is your government
is your government
Climate change experts can't explain the blizzard in hell Tuesday, but after extensive investigation, it must be that Howard Dean and Glen Beck both agree on something. Congress should scrap the healthcare bill. Even I concur...
The largest entitlement bill ever considered by the United States Congress: the new universal healthcare bill.
- Accomplishes 0 original objectives
- 24 million uninsured
- Cost: $2.5 Trillion dollars
- Tax increase: $500 Billion dollars
- Impedes best health care machine in the world
- Creation of pain, suffering & death due to budgeting & implementation
- Creation of millions of job losses
- Billions of waste through earmarks
- VIolates oath to uphold U.S. Constitution
Compliments of the U.S. Government, may they burn in hell!
Unnecessary humor
In the washroom in the airport I saw this handwritten sign posted over one of those hot air hand dryers:
a short message from the President!"
There's nothing like "hot air" and the smell of fresh crap to give you that true 0bama presence!
h/t Madman Mango
Pop term of the day:
pornament
pornament
noun: a pornographic Christmas ornament.
Somehow, Rodney's Christmas tree, decked out in garish purple lights and Mrs. Santa pornaments, failed to convey the solemnity and dignity of this holiest of days.
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
I can’t believe someone other than myself thinks these are some stupid things girls do… I don’t know this genius, but I like the way (s)he thinks!
How do you cut down on mental health costs? Just shoot & kill the retard! I don't know if I could live with this one...
This is definitely information that your young adult child should be taught in Sex Ed class! I wish they would have taught me when I was in school… #14 How to spot a transvestite
Being aware of manipulative people is not difficult if we know what behavior they exhibit. I have to be careful not to be one of these people…
There are a few steps we can take to stop being manipulated. It’s a balancing act that I don’t do well.
I also have issues with people who break my personal boundaries. I tend to enforce my boundaries very aggressively, I can’t stand being run over.
By far, my greatest difficulty is dealing with bullies. I was told many years ago that if I ever start backing up on that road, I will never stop. He was a very smart man…
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
God Bless China
China says they will comply, but America and it's Eurotrash partners can shove that treaty up its ass. They said the would begin implementing changes, but unlike the U.S., they refuse to allow international monitors to verify its emissions level.
Why would one of the largest pollution producing countries in the world want to pay small third world countries for their pollution? Especially when:
- 1. It doesn't solve anything.
2. Their own people suffer in poverty.
3. It makes no sense to give away money which could be used to implement pollution control?
4. Those involved don't give a shit about their carbon footprint. All they want is money.
5. The United States has no right to criticize China since we don't keep our own house clean.
India feels much the same way. Why would any country want Eurotrash, bureaucrats, politicians and freedom haters dictate rules, regulations, laws and enforcement procedures?
America is bullying the world right now, not by might, but by its debt. Today, the only thing the world fears from America is if we default on our loans... one of the saddest times in American history.
Pop term of the day:
tiger's wife mad
tiger's wife mad
the act of being so angry at someone that you find the item they cherish most and beat them with it.
Chris was so tiger's wife mad at Joe that he grabbed Joe's Wii remote and beat him with it.
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
I realized something last night while Mrs. Crane was watching "White Christmas" with Bing Crosby, Danny Kay and Mitzi Gaynor... I hate showtunes! There is one exception, "Moulin Rouge", does that mean anything?
After reading a review on a book by celebrity author Dominick Dunne, published after his death, I put the word out on the street that I hope Santa believes my behavior would constitute it making my gift list. I could care less about “high society” and their “high crimes”, but I do so love non-fiction, drama and retribution; especially by an expert writer. I also am intrigued by what he has to say while awaiting his own death.
I have mixed feelings when someone publishes a book after they die that causes embarrassment, humiliation and scandal in the lives of others. My devious side loves a good "Count of Monte Cristo" story, especially if true. My compassionate nature is saddened by the pain people experience when their dirty secrets come to light, since I can't throw the first stone. I'm thankful I can take the Rocketman defense, "Wasn't me"!
Speaking of scandals, now that banks want to pay back the money they borrowed, isn't it highway robbery if the treasury keeps the money and spends it at their discretion? Further proof that our government will never, ever pay down the debt, much less give surplus funds back to the people!
The big boys are buying low, before the price jumps next year. Exxon is buying XTO for $31 billion just for their natural gas reserves. The timing should be perfect with the dollar deflating at the speed of light.
If the government would let them drill off our coastline, like China, Brazil and Russia is gearing up to do, we might not need foreign energy at all... Hell, Exxon should just buy a Russian or Chinese company so they can do it. They would save billions would in taxes, like Soros.
Speaking of the big boys, the President "pressured the heads of the nation’s biggest banks on Monday to take “extraordinary” steps to revive lending for small businesses and homeowners." Forcing banks to loan money... Isn't that how they destroyed the economy in the first place?
Why would banks want to loan money when they are making a fortune shorting the dollar?
Can the government tell business how to invest or spend their money? Who's money is it anyway?
If there was ever any question about how the government could get business to repay their loans, cap executive bonuses and they will find a way to get you paid!
Monday, December 14, 2009
Unnecessary humor
A Texan buys a round of drinks for the entire bar, announcing that his wife has just produced "a typical Texas" baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Congratulations showered him from all around, along with many exclamations of "Wow!"
Two weeks later, the Texan returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of the typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "17 pounds."
The bartender, puzzled and concerned, asks, "Why? What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds at birth."
The Texas father takes a slow swig from his longneck beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."
Holiday Public Service Announcement
It happens to all of us...
You're driving along just minding your own business, when all of a sudden, without any warning, this dick in a truck pulls out right in front of you......
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Stay Safe
They're Everywhere!!!
h/t AJ
Pop term of the day: Elf-Esteem
The feeling of being overworked, underappreciated and like you don't exist to others during the holidays while in actuality the season's success depends on you.
The sense of being 3 feet small when others would view you in high stature if they realized all you do to make the holiday's happen.
I think Hermey is having some elf-esteem issues. He's pulling the stuffing out of all the teddy bears.
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
Hands down, the greatest fake sport ever! Brazilian Bikini Rollerskating Boxing has enormous potential…
Extreme longboarding could be one of the top 10 most dangerous sports in existence. But it sure does look like a super cool rush…until you hit a rock.
I read an op-ed in Right Wing News titled “What I Notice About Palin-Bashers”. He thinks it may be “a new mental sickness epidemic”. I think he may be right.
I don't understand why the media is making such a big deal over using mercenaries in Iraq. These soldiers are well paid, trained professionals who are there by choice. Since each American soldier costs $1 million to dispatch, I think contract labor is the way to go, especially when taking the loss of American lives into consideration. If we don't hire these guys, someone else will!
Silicone Alligator came by the office Saturday with babygator. Of course, the nocturnal creature was sleeping and content; he looked really well fed. He had big thick lips and looked so much like his father. She has finally experience a glimpse of God's love. It shows...
I met an older lady in a conference the other day who was unpleasant, disagreeable and a real sour puss. I tolerated her best I could but didn't take any crap. I also found myself poking fun at her from time to time. I saw her again at a public event a few days later, walked up to her without saying a word, hugged her neck and didn't let go. When I did let go, she had tears in her eyes. I never said a word, just walked away. Some people just need to feel loved.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Pop term of the day:
Short story long
Short story long
Something that could have been told in a more concise way but is dragged out because the teller doesn't know how to tell a story. It's a play on the annoying clarifier, "Long story short," people use to sum up a digression, which really never seems to be that short anyway. So instead you say the opposite.
So I was walking into the store the other day, I wanted to get some aspirin because I had this massive headache and I walked down aisle four but they only had Tylenol but that doesn't work and I went to the counter and short story long this guy was holding up the store!
Mary had an illegal Lamb
Mary had a little Lamb,
His fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The Lamb was sure to go.
He followed her to school each day,
T'wasn't even in the rule.
It made the children laugh and play,
To have The Lamb at school...
And then the rules all changed one day,
Illegal it became;
To bring The Lamb of God to school,
Or even speak His Name!
Every day got worse and worse,
And days turned into years..
Instead of hearing children laugh,
We heard gun shots and tears.
What must we do to stop the crime,
That's in our schools today?
Let's let The Lamb come back to school,
And teach our kids to pray!
His fleece was white as snow.
And everywhere that Mary went,
The Lamb was sure to go.
He followed her to school each day,
T'wasn't even in the rule.
It made the children laugh and play,
To have The Lamb at school...
And then the rules all changed one day,
Illegal it became;
To bring The Lamb of God to school,
Or even speak His Name!
Every day got worse and worse,
And days turned into years..
Instead of hearing children laugh,
We heard gun shots and tears.
What must we do to stop the crime,
That's in our schools today?
Let's let The Lamb come back to school,
And teach our kids to pray!
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