Although the movie was a flop, what do you
think of the creepy promotional posters?
Pass or fail?
Saturday, December 5, 2009
You make the call
Although the movie was a flop, what do you
think of the creepy promotional posters?
Pass or fail?
Pop term of the day:
word receptacle
word receptacle
n. The person that is on the receiving side of a one way conversation.
I couldn't get a word in edgewise. She kept talking to me about her shoes, purse, and how her best friend just got dumped. I am a word receptacle.
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
Just in case you want to have a little bit of evil fun, you can go play the Tiger Woods Wife Outrun game… I got
hammeredclubbed.
I read an article at The 33 News that Tiger has allegedly offered Elin $80 million to stay with him. Why would you offer the mother of your children money to stay with you? Doesn’t he know that if she takes the money, she becomes a paid whore?
She has several choices. One, take the money and stay; two, make a counter offer to stay; three, take his kids and take his arse to court ($80 million would come easy, no matter the existing prenupt). This will be the ultimate test of character. There is no easy choice for her in the matter. I'm glad it's not me who is tempted by the money and harassed by the media feeding frenzy.
Absolutely the latest and greatest in liberal idiocy: the Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission! You want to know how an idiot gets 4,000 signatures on a petition? People would have signed away their car just to get rid of this moonbat!
Timing is critical in politics, but the day after the President’s job summit the NY Times runs an article about the “strongest jobs report since the recession began two years ago”. That’s all well and good, but remember who came up with the report, the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
“It is like a patient after having collapsed with a heart attack sitting up and taking a breath — nothing more than that,” Allen L. Sinai, the founder of the research firm Decision Economics.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Unnecessary humor
Two doctors and an HMO manager are killed in a train wreck and line up at the pearly gates for admission to heaven. Saint Peter asks them to identify themselves.
One doctor steps forward and says, "I was a pediatric spinal surgeon. I helped hundreds of kids overcome their deformities."
Saint Peter says, "Enter."
The other doctor says, "I was a psychiatrist. I helped rehabilitate thousands of people."
Saint Peter nods and invites him into heaven, too.
The third applicant steps forward and says, "I was an HMO manager. I helped countless people get cost-effective health care."
Saint Peter tells him, "You can come in, too."
As the HMO manager walks by, Saint Peter adds, "But you can only stay for three days. After that, you go to hell."
Pop term of the day:
management by driveby
management by driveby
When a manager comes whizzing through the cubicles to see if you need anything from him/her without stopping to listen to your answer. Way for manager to know what his/her people are doing.
Every morning Sherwin swings by our area to say hi and pulls a management by driveby.
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
I'm really not sure what draws me to Google's street views of prostitutes, but these gals in broad daylight seem pretty brazen if you ask me...
Another reason to love the Teamsters… The American Red Cross accused striking employees of blocking blood delivery. Is this the future of healthcare in America?
A major Irish order of Roman Catholic nuns "permitted and covered up endemic rape, molestation, beatings and mental cruelty in their children's institutions”. Offering $193 million to pay the government and the victims.
The President's job summit yesterday included dozens of Union bosses and other experts, but by not inviting the U.S. Chamber of Commerce or any other business organizations he's showing the true nature of the meeting. How many new jobs are unions saving or creating these days? Do any of the job summit participants have any actual business experience? Haven't all the participants been given government handouts?
Another jobkiller story: ‘On November 11, David N. Farr, Chairman, CEO and President of Emerson Electric Co., announced at the Baird 2009 Industrial Conference in Chicago that President Obama has succeeded in chasing his multi-billion dollar industry right out of the U.S.A. Why? Onerous regulation, high taxes, and the over $1 trillion Obama debt should be reason enough for any business to consider shutting down U.S. facilities and seeking greener pastures overseas says Farr.’
Thursday, December 3, 2009
More unnecessary humor
Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract, pushing her own set of drivers.
They said to have named Elin Woods..."clubs you can beat Tiger with"
Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family.
What is his new name? ....Cheetah
h/t 2 da Comish
Political Photoplay
Unnecessary humor
I do so love a smart woman
who knows how to use whatever
tools available to fix a problem
h/t AJ
Pop term of the day:
Kobe Special
Kobe Special
A large gift a man gives to his wife to appease her after he's had an affair. After sleeping with another women, Kobe Bryant bought his wife a ring that cost as much as a large house.
Tiger: I have to run to Zales to get a Kobe Special."
Friend: "What's that?"
Tiger: "A house on a finger."
Rambling on...
Went hunting over the weekend and killed these two plus three smaller ones . I love to shoot.
I agree with political hack Newt Gingrich when he calls the current administration the biggest job killers ever in the Whitehouse. Who in the Whitehouse has ever created a job or even had a real job for that matter, the guards and cooks?
Why aren't all the feminists raising hell with PETA for its exploitation of women for the promotion of their cause? Is it because animal rights, gay rights and african american rights are more important than theirs? Pointing the finger at everyone except them doesn't work.
While on the subject of PETA, can you imagine what they would do if Americans began eating another white meat?
I find myself getting my feelings hurt more often around the holidays. In all honesty I set myself up for it. It seems the more I give, the more I'm alienated in relationships. I guess I feel used and no longer needed...
The "I feel unappreciated" rant is what my wife used to say, just before the "I just want you to hold me" plea. As a young man, just holding my wife caused certain appendages to feel unappreciated.
Young men don't seem to have that problem today. It looks to have changed drastically. Young women tend to exhibit violence if not appreciated regularly.
Let me think of how many legitimate reasons a 25 year old would have an affair with Tiger Wood. Money, fame, money, notoriety, money, popularity, money, excitement, money, a book deal, money, bragging rights, money, talk shows, money, travel and money... One thing is certain, it's not for the sex!
How do you break a financial empire? If Tiger's wife sues for divorce, we will get a first hand illustration. She is the only unpretentious celebrity in America more angelic than Tiger himself. It wouldn't matter if her attorney was a blind, deaf, mute; he's a cooked goose!
Muslim wives don't have the same opportunities in divorce as American wives; which is the only reason I can think of that makes Sharia law appealing. Well, there may be one or two more reasons. I like sassy American women much more than mutilated Muslim women; although, I've never been through a divorce...
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
A pilot's view
Terminator-style helmets allow fighter pilots to see through their planes. Only the neck and shoulders prove there is a human being in there somewhere.
This is how the next generation of fighter pilots will look. And with piercing green eyes staring out from behind the visor, it's no surprise that the helmet has been compared to Arnold Schwarzenegger's killer robot in The Terminator.
Pilots flying the F-35 Joint Strike Fighter will have an astonishing array of technology encasing their heads - enabling them to see right through their own aircraft fuselage to the ground below.
A series of cameras on the outside of the stealth warplane feed high-resolution images into the helmet, including infra-red images at night, which are then projected on to the inside of the pilot's visor.
Special sensors inside the cockpit track the movement of the helmet, so that when the pilot turns his head his view of the skies or ground outside changes accordingly.
When he looks down, he sees not his own feet on the cockpit floor but the ground below, slipping past at hundreds of miles per hour.
On-board computers also feed in essential flight and combat data on to the display, as well as superimposing target symbols to locate enemy and friendly aircraft or ground targets, even if they are too far away to see with the naked eye.
Cutting-edge: Cameras are attached to the outside of F-35 Joint Strike Fighters to give pilots all-round vision.
Prototypes were used in test flights by U.S. pilots earlier this year and are now being assessed by engineers.
The computerized symbology will be displayed directly on the pilot's visor, providing the pilot with cues for flying, navigating, and fighting the aircraft.
It even will superimpose infra-red imagery on to the visor to allow the pilot to look through the cockpit floor at night and see the world below - like something out of Terminator.
h/t Randy
~ PETA ~
Petadvocates Exploiting Tits & A$$
Petadvocates Exploiting Tits & A$$
you give a guy a boner...
Pop term of the day:
airplane mode
airplane mode
When someone cuts themselves off from the world by not logging on to Facebook or checking their cell phones. Usually occurs after a breakup or a rough work week.
Derived from the cell phone setting of the same name in which incoming messages or phone calls cannot be received.
"Dan won't answer your calls. He's in airplane mode."
"Sarah went into airplane mode for three days after Charlie dumped her."
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
You might be a geek if you actually wear these underwear… although someone trying to get into them probably won’t mention it at the time.
It never ceases to amaze me what companies will do to sell their product. Sex doesn't always sell condoms...
A successful criminal attorney makes $300,000+ a year and a local police officer makes $30-$40,000 a year. If crime didn't pay, those figures would be reversed.
How does fighting radical Islamists in the Middle East benefit the United States? I know the people there suffer, but we have not successfully liberated a nation since World War II. If we’re not there to win anything, then we are just occupiers that only delay the inevitable. We can't help anyone who won't help themselves...
Every time I listen to a liberal tell me how most Muslims are good people and that the Islamic religion is one of peace and harmony, I look at shit like this and wonder why there is such a high incidence rate of torture, mutilation and execution. If those liberals made their daughters marry into a devout Muslim family, they might just reconsider their position.
I got an email yesterday from Whitehouse senior advisor Valerie Jarrett on the President's big discussion scheduled Thursday "to explore every possible avenue for job creation". Experts all over the world agree that excessive taxation is the worst thing a government can do to stimulate job creation. I really don't know how the current administration and this Congress can ignore a fact that the entire world considers common knowledge, but that's exactly what they're doing.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
The Worlds Shortest Books
AFRICAN AMERICANS I'VE MET WHILE YACHTING
By Tiger Woods
________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT MY COUNTRY
By Jane Fonda & Cindy Sheehan.
Illustrated by Michael Moore
________________
MY CHRISTIAN ACCOMPLISHMENTS &
HOW I HELPED AFTER KATRINA
By Rev Jesse Jackson & Rev Al Sharpton
________________
THINGS I LOVE ABOUT BILL
By Hillary Clinton
Sequel: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HILLARY
By Bill Clinton
________________
MY LITTLE BOOK OF PERSONAL HYGIENE
By Osama Bin Laden
________________
THINGS I CANNOT AFFORD
By Bill Gates
________________
THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY
By Dennis Rodman
________________
THINGS WE KNOW TO BE TRUE
By Al Gore & John Kerry
________________
AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
________________
A COLLECTION of MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
By Dr. J. Kevorkian
________________
ALL THE MEN WE HAVE LOVED, BEFORE...
By Ellen de Generes & Rosie O'Donnel
________________
GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
By Mike Tyson
________________
MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS
By O. J. Simpson
________________
HOW TO DRINK & DRIVE OVER BRIDGES
By Ted Kennedy
________________
MY BOOK OF MORALS
By Bill Clinton
Introduction By Rev. Jesse Jackson
________________
and recently added:
MY COMPLETE KNOWLEDGE
OF MILITARY STRATEGY
By Nancy Pelosi
________________
WHAT I DID TO WIN THE
NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
By Barak 0bama
h/t McMike
Just when you thought
it was safe to go
back into the water
it was safe to go
back into the water
if the first one was too slow,
this one's 225 mph & painful
He's just not
that into you
that into you
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
Pop term of the day:
holiday pounds
holiday pounds
holiday pounds
The extra little bit of weight you put on during a period of being on holiday or vacation.
Man, when I get back to work I'll have to start going to the gym again- I've put on some serious holiday pounds
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
TCU kicks ass... My dad went to college there with a naive country boy named Bob Lily and a mean purple people eating linebacker, Sherrill Hedrick. I've always been a Frog fan.
Many years ago, I decided to work on our kitchen sink. After several hours of frustration and disgust, I called the plumber and he said the $35 job turned into a $115 job. It was on that day that decided to heed the words of Clint Eastwood: “a man’s got to know his limitations”. Words I live by today.
Until Saturday afternoon, when I came home and decided to take the electric clippers and trim our long-haired dog. Needless to say, five hours later I had not only created a major disaster area in our home, but I now have the ugliest damn dog in town! The poor animal looks so bad I probably deserve jail time.
Note to self, the next time you feel inspired to do something new, constructive and creative, visualize Clint pointing that 44 mag at your head and remember, luck has nothing to do with ability.
Our President promised to introduce an new era of government openness. Now he has refused to declassify millions of pages of documents, all more than 25 years old and all, by law, scheduled to be made public. This is the same President that had no problem releasing detainee photos that experts said would make our troops and country less safe.
Why hasn't Hilary flown to Dubai and offered to bail them out? At the ludicrous speed they're spending money, it would be like a garage sale, except we wouldn't be buying anything, just funding more rich bankers.
After watching Scent of a Woman the other evening, I went to bed and had an inspirationally satisfying dream where General George Patton took a flame thrower to the chambers of Congress while in session. I woke up in an exceptionally good mood...
I still believe I have the solution to winning the war in the Middle East. If they would just give me a license to guide and sell radical Muslim hunts, I think I could charge $50,000-$100,000 per hunt and cut the troop level and cost in half. I see only 2 problems with my idea; 1, mounting the trophies and 2, overcoming protesters when they become an endangered species...
Monday, November 30, 2009
Unnecessary humor
Confucius say, "If you are in a book store and cannot find the book for which you search, you obviously are in the...
h/t McMike
Guns don't kill people
- (A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
- (B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year = 120,000.
- (C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
- (A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. (YES, Million)
- (B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500..
- (C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.000188.
So, statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, 'Guns don't kill people, doctors do.'
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. We must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!
Out of concern for the public at large, I withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention!
h/t AJ
Pop term of the day:
Thanksgiving Beard
Thanksgiving Beard
An unintentional beard started over the 4 day Thanksgiving weekend, where you're too lazy to shave it off monday morning. Usually continues until Christmas or New Year's Day.
Also known as a Holiday Beard
Boss: You look like you haven't shaved in days. That's unprofessional.
Employee: Sir, that's my Thanksgiving beard. It's my way of honoring our forefathers.
Boss: Oh, I didn't realize that. Maybe I'll grow one too.
Urban Dictionary
Rambling on...
What happens when you marry a rich man 20 years older than you and he can’t keep his affairs quiet? Ask the Italian Prime Minister’s victimized wife; there’s pain, suffering and $65 million a year in alimony. That should help her deal with the psychological damage.
Hell, I might consider marrying a man for that kind of money!!! I already feel like I get screwed on a daily basis, $5.5 million a month might help make it more bearable... Yea, I know, I am no longer in denial about having manwhore tendencies!
I read a story about a spelunking 26 year old medical school student who died trapped in a cave in Utah. Officials have decided to leave him there and close the cave. If it were me, I would like that to be my final resting place. No family around to tell me what to do...
I watched an insanely fascinating movie last night that I couldn’t tear myself from. It reminded me of how happy I am when I don’t think about how sad I should be. Mozart & The Whale demonstrates how love overcomes all obstacles, no matter the physical or emotional disabilities.
I was reading an article Sunday that said food stamps now feeds 1 in 8 Americans and 1 in 4 children. That has to be the saddest thing I’ve read about life in the United States in a long, long time. Compliments of the U.S. government
When it comes to providing food, clothing and shelter for my family, I would do anything, legal or illegal, to keep my family from going hungry, living on the street or being thread bear. So would you.
If I was homeless and starving, I wouldn’t care if they burned the U.S. Constitution for a fire to cook what little food I scrounged up. Throughout history, food has been much more the necessity than democratic ideals; people follow the person who will feed them, that includes Satan himself.
Don’t be surprised when your children or grandchildren do whatever it takes to make it on their own, including dealing drugs, stealing, stripping and prostitution. We just think it can’t happen to us, hide and watch…
If I’m not part of the solution, I’m part of the problem. If I’m doing nothing to change the current state of America, I am helping allow its destruction. Bitching about it is not part of the solution, it just makes it easier for people to ignore me...
Sunday, November 29, 2009
That's a good sign...
A smile is a sign of joy.
A hug is a sign of love.
A laugh is a sign of happiness.
And a friend like me . . . ?
Well, shit, that's just a sign of good taste!
h/t AJ
Pop term of the day: sacrelicious
Adj. 1) A description of a recipe that should not exist for religious reasons, but tastes good anyway. 2) Any cooking done with communion wafers.
Try some Matzo crackers and bacon dip - it's sacrelicious.
Urban Dictionary
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