Saturday, November 7, 2009
Beatdown of the week!
You are attempting to convince people your horse shit does not smell as bad as their bull shit and are ignoring the fact they both stink and you have a nose full of shit.
The one & only Mzchief
rotflmao
Pop term of the day:
to your point
to your point
to your point
Phrase used to contradict another person's ideas, while making it feel like you have agreed with them.
Her: I don't think we should see each other anymore. You're just not there for me emotionally and I need more than that.
You: To your point, I think we should limit our relationship to strictly sexual, and I look forward to that. Im glad we agree on this.
Can also be used in the 3rd person.
Jim: Peyton Manning rules.
You: Im with Jim on this one. And to Jims point, Tom Brady is the best QB in the NFL.
Urban Dictionary
Friday, November 6, 2009
Wise County Crime Report
Highlights for Nov. 8th
Highlights for Nov. 8th
I can't buy entertainment this good!
200 block of Brighton Oaks Drive - A woman divorcing her common law husband went to stay in Lake Worth for a little while. When she returned to her home she found her common law husband there with a new girlfriend. The new couple was instructed to leave the residence.
700 block of CR 3336 - A woman reported that her mother slapped her.
200 block of CR 4599 - A woman reported that her neighbor had shot and killed her dog. The neighbor admitted to killing the dog because it was in his front yard.
800 block of CR 2215 - A landlord complained that a tenant's rent was five months past due.
Intersection of U.S. 81/287 and FM 407 - A deputy pulled over a driver for reckless driving. While talking with the driver, another vehicle drove up behind the patrol car and then into the ditch before swerving and almost striking the deputy and his patrol vehicle. The female driver was removed from the vehicle and arrested for DWI.
100 block of CR 4691 - A woman complained that her landlord turned off her electricity prior to evicting her.
100 block of PR 4711 - A woman reported that her 17-year-old son threatened to slit the throat of her and her boyfriend while they slept. The son went to go stay with an aunt for the night but jumped out of vehicle after getting into a verbal argument with her. Officers were unable to locate the teenager.
200 block of CR 3503 - A pickup truck with a blown engine was stolen from the property. There are no suspects at this time.
2600 block of 3791 - A man arrived home from work and found his lawn care worker lying face down in the backyard. The man, Orville Jennings, 63, of Springtown collapsed and died while working.
Compliments of the Wise County Messenger
Bubba likes big hogs
Email of the week
Email of the week
Cute little Texas pig that was killed near the town of Cut-N-Shoot TX. We call ‘em "them Piney Wood Rooters".
Over 1,800 lb. wild boar shot and killed in Conroe, Texas near the County Airport, East of I-45 and near the community of Cut and Shoot. Killed by a medical Radiology worker... What would you do if this beast was coming at you? Run for dear life? Climb a tree or simply get run over? 
The biggest problem I see with shooting a hog that size is it would act like a grizzly bear and just get mad if you shot it!
Thank you Mr. President!
I want to take time out of my busy life and personally thank you Mr. President and Mrs. Napolitano for keeping our country safe.
I feel so much safer knowing that 2 devout Muslims have been appointed to prominent positions in the Department of Homeland Security.
May the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob bless you with a just reward for what you are doing for America.
Political Predation
Why get a job if the government gives you an unemployment check for up to 99 weeks if you live in the nanny right state ! That would not stimulate me to find a job...
“Leadership is a quality Barack Obama showed on the campaign trail. It is a quality he has failed to show as president.” Am I reading this correctly? Is the Huffington Post calling President 0bama a failure?
Get ready for more of this when President 0bama signs away U.S. sovereignty in December.
Nancy Pelosi is having problems keeping anti-abortion activists out of her suite. How dare they have a private tea party and not invite me!
Pop term of the day:
Piglet Flu
Piglet Flu
Piglet Flu
During times of pandemic, the common flu is known as Piglet Flu. While less deadly than Swine Flu it still makes you feel like shit. However, because it is not infamous like swine flu you get no respect from having it. So you feel like crap and no one gives a damn because you don't have h1n1.
Doctor: How do you feel.
Patient: Like shit.
Doctor: Well the tests came back, you don't have swine flu. So get the hell out you lazy good for nothing bastard. Come back with a real illness.
Patient (as he is thrown out) But i really do have the flu. Even if it is only piglet flu.
Urban Dictionary
Of Interest
Not only can a man train his wife, but some can build one as well.
If the government can fix the economy by spending money it doesn’t have, they need to hire Nicolas Cage since he seems to be an expert
For the weapons enthusiast, these are awesome as well as painful.
Is it a blonde thing, a woman thing or just a moonbat thing?
Some good old and new Facebook beatdowns
Three sure fire ways to ruin a romance
Republican Representative
shows his patriotic a$$
shows his patriotic a$$
I sure have reservations about a U.S. Congressman putting on a patriotic show for the crowd and leading them in the Pledge of Allegiance, only to forget the words. How in the hell can any patriotic American forget the words to the Pledge of Allegiance unless he doesn't say it or hear it very often? Our Constitution doesn't stand a chance! I guess he didn't consider it a very important part of his show...
Thats the kind of leader I want, one that can't even lead our own Pledge of Allegiance! And then again, it may be foreshadowing...
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Email of the day
it was too good not to share...
~~~~~~~~
Burglary In Florida
(You can't make this up)
When Southern Florida resident Nathan Radlich's house was burglarized recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR and even left his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was a generic white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder. (That is the way the police report described it.)
A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said that it looked similar to high grade cocaine and they'd probably thought they had hit the big time.
Later, Nathan stood in front of numerous TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars: "Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago."
The next morning, the bullet-riddled corpse of a local drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. The cardboard box was there also and about half of Gertrude's ashes remained.
Scotch taped to the box was a note that read: Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. Have a nice day.
h/t TeeHee
Pop term of the day: sport snob
someone who believes that their vast and ultimately unnecessary knowledge of sports makes them a better sports watcher. they will often ridicule, or speak condescendingly towards someone of lesser sports knowledge.
Louis: wow! that was a great touchdown pass...
Leo: thats what quarterbacks do...idiot...
Louis: don't be such a f'ing sport snob
New health care bill - $1.05 trillion
This is not a bill, do not pay
from this statement... yet!
This is not a bill, do not pay
from this statement... yet!
If you’re interested in actually reading the latest universal health care reform bill, here it is. If you would like a few insights to what’s significant so far, read below:
Page 94 — Prohibits the sale of private individual health insurance policies, beginning in 2013, forcing individuals to purchase coverage through the federal government
Page 110 — Requires the use of federal dollars to fund abortions through the government-run health plan—and, if the Hyde Amendment were ever not renewed, would require the plan to fund elective abortions
Page 111 — Establishes a new board of federal bureaucrats (the “Health Benefits Advisory Committee”) to dictate the health plans that all individuals must purchase
Page 211 — Establishes a new government-run health plan that, according to non-partisan actuaries at the Lewin Group, would cause as many as 114 million Americans to lose their existing coverage
Page 225 — Permits — but does not require — Members of Congress to enroll in government-run health care
Page 255 — Includes language requiring verification of income for individuals wishing to receive federal health care subsidies under the bill—while the bill includes a requirement for applicants to verify their citizenship, it does not include a similar requirement to verify applicants’ identity, thus encouraging identity fraud for undocumented immigrants and others wishing to receive taxpayer-subsidized health benefits
Page 297 — Imposes a 2.5 percent tax on all individuals who do not purchase “bureaucrat-approved” health insurance—the tax would apply on individuals with incomes under $250,000, thus breaking a central promise of then-Senator Obama’s presidential campaign
Page 313 — Imposes an 8 percent “tax on jobs” for firms that cannot afford to purchase “bureaucrat-approved” health coverage; according to an analysis by Harvard Professor Kate Baicker, such a tax would place millions “at substantial risk of unemployment”
Page 336 — Imposes additional job-killing taxes, in the form of a half-trillion dollar “surcharge,” more than half of which will hit small businesses; according to a model developed by President Obama’s senior economic advisor, such taxes could cost up to 5.5 million jobs
Page 520 — Cuts more than $150 billion from Medicare Advantage plans, potentially jeopardizing millions of seniors’ existing coverage
Page 733 — Establishes a new Center for Comparative Effectiveness Research; the bill includes no provisions preventing the government-run health plan from using such research to deny access to life-saving treatments on cost grounds, similar to Britain’s National Health Service, which denies patient treatments costing more than £35,000
Page 1174 — Includes provisions entitled “TAXES ON CERTAIN INSURANCE POLICIES” to fund comparative effectiveness research, breaking Speaker Pelosi’s promise that “We will not be taxing [health] benefits in any bill that passes the House,” and President Obama’s promise not to raise taxes on families with incomes under $250,000
h/t Congressman Pete Sessions
ultimate hat tip to Mrs. Magillicutty
I'm fixing to be on this like a fly on stink! It's gonna take several gallons of coffee...
Of Interest
An 11 year old becomes one of the world’s youngest mothers. Am I the only one wondering why an 11 year old is sexually active?
The hunt is afoot… uh, I mean ashore… Great white sharks come closer to shore than previously believed. I wonder if they will blame obesity since sharks like fat…
Very cool, green, hurricane-proof new home designs
Fine ethnic art can show up almost anywhere, but you may not always appreciate it.
Please don’t think I’m unappreciative or perverted, but there are some things that women forget to do during sex…
Would you ruin your marriage for a few thousand bucks on a game show like this stupid blonde does?
So, how fearless are you really? Try to answer every question on this sex survey honestly.
Deep thought of the day
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
Nelson Mandela
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Pop term of the day: right-of-stay
right-of-stay
when two cars disregard the right-of-way guidelines they were supposed learn from a driver's manual when they were 16, resulting in both cars to remain motionless at an intersection assuming the other car will make the first move. Usually after about 1o seconds both cars will go at the same time which leads to a firestorm of profanity and/or an accident.
Right-of-stay
At a four-way stop sign intersection
Northbound Car: Is this person gonna go or what
Westbound Car: Is this person gonna go or what
Northbound Car: F'in' go dude
Westbound Car: F'in' go dude
Northbound Car: F' this guy I'm going
Westbound Car: F' this guy I'm going
Northbound Car: What the f' is wrong with you motherf'er
Westbound Car: F' you and your gay ass PT Cruiser asshole
Dems infiltrating the GOP?
Congresswoman elect, Dede Scozzafava
After gracefully bowing out of the NY-23 congressional race, Assembywoman Scozzafava shared with her constituents that she did it for the welfare of the party, right before she endorsed the Democratic candidate. Now why would she do that?
Is it not obvious? If I were the Democratic Party and I wanted to promote a liberal, progressive agenda, I would disguise liberal politicians and run them as a Republican so as to assure my agenda prevailed no matter who won the election. It's a no lose scenario that's very easily implemented and makes perfect sense.
Is the GOP willing to win an election at any cost? Will the GOP continue to sacrifice their principles, values and platform in order to maintain control of Congress?
On Oct. 26th, I wrote the following:
A so-called conservative party has no place for liberal congressional leaders or Republican Party support. If I were a liberal, I would want to infiltrate the GOP with liberals; in this case RINOs. Either the GOP needs to support its platform before its politician, or shove the platform up your ass!
True conservatives will not compromise certain conservative values. For all I care, you can call yourself the Christian party, but if your actions don't reflect your platform/objective, don't expect Christians to support you. Same with conservatives!
I would rather face the dissolution and demise of the U.S. Constitution today, than make my children and grandchildren have to fight the socialist/Marxist bastards 10 or 20 years from now. They need to see their parents stand up for their rights as guaranteed by our Constitution instead of worshipping another Messiah!'
Liberal = Progressive
Conservative = Independent
Liberal Republican = RINO
Liberal Democrat = Democrat
Conservative Republican = Republican
Conservative Democrat = Extinct
Of Interest
Blessed are the peacemakers, but I do enjoy a good verbal cat fight. Skank vs Perez Hilton! "Look Perez, you make a living off telling lies and trying to associate yourself with anyone who is in the media for press. We should all just call you Michael Lohan. You're the gay version of Michael Lohan."
Some kids just aren’t very good at thinking on their feet.
I don’t really believe these are the top 10 richest billionaires in the world.
Should we tip if we get poor service? That’s a good question!
If you tend to think your life is ruled by Murphy’s law, think again, these homeowners give lessons on bad luck!
This will prove that just about anything is possible, no matter how insane.
If you have issues with vertigo, do not click this link
In case of an emergency, this midwife is teaching the proper way to deliver a baby in a taxicab. You never know when you might need to use your skills… This video is also good to watch if you have trouble sleeping!
How to piss off an
attorney in open court
attorney in open court
Have a sheriff's deputy take a document
out of your files without your knowledge!
She handled it much better than I would.
The story gets even better.
I hope the suspense lasts!
More at Reason
Deep thought of the day
Our kindness may be the most persuasive argument for that which we believe.
Gordon B. Hinckley
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Pop term of the day: jfgi
jfgi
Just F'ing Google it. You say it when somebody asks a stupid question.
Dude #1: hey dude, what does JFGI mean?
Dude #2: Just F'ing Google it yo.
Dude #1: I tried but i couldn't find anything.
Dude #2: JUST F'ING GOOGLE IT!
Dude #1: bro. i already tried that. don't be mean.
Dude #2: bro, your an idiot.
Urban Dictionary
Political Porifera
Soros says China isn’t making much of a contribution to the new world order…
President 0bama delivers more lip service. “The government is going to have to get serious about reducing our debt levels.” He’s not blaming Bush any more, he’s blaming our government! And I just thought I was a hypocrite…
With ammunition selling faster than it can be manufactured, Wapo reporters don’t understand why since “-- crime and increased gun control -- seem less threatening than usual.” Does this tell you how clueless some Americans choose to remain?
“The percentage of taxes on GDP [in Pakistan] is among the lowest in the world... We [the United States] tax everything that moves and doesn’t move, and that’s not what we see in Pakistan,” U.S. Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton
Inspector General says the IRS isn’t properly monitoring $34 billion in contracts… is that all, I thought it would be something important!
Does the White House plan to attack every medial outlet that criticizes its policies and actions?
Of Interest
Okay ladies, I’m not inferring you don’t know how to color coordinate your clothing, but these guys sure seem to know what they’re doing…
What is the most effective way to wake you up in the morning? There are lots of ways now.
I didn’t really think this would be funny until I started watching some of the best celebrity stage wipeouts on video.
There’s always Brad Pitt’s uninteresting Halloween costume, but he did take his kid trick or treating.
This news story reminds me of when Chief Brody said, “We need a bigger boat” in the movie “Jaws”?
Deep thought of the day
Obstacles don't have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
Michael Jordan
Monday, November 2, 2009
I can't stop watching and laughing!
You know America is going down the
toilet when you get this class of thief!
Pop term of the day: Movember
Held in November, this is the month in which people gather together to grow and compare mostaches. Participants begin the month clean shaven and cultivate their mostaches throughout the month. The month climaxes with participants comparing and appeciating each others mostaches in a manly, non gay way.
dude, i'm gonna grow the fattest mostache this Movember!
Urban Dictionary
0bama to help create New World
Government in December
Government in December
I guess America didn't want
to be free bad enough...
The imagination is a
terrible thing to waste
terrible thing to waste
This is mesmerizing!
I recommend enlarging video before watching.
Political Plutocrats
The long arm of the
What were the air traffic controllers doing while the pilots were playing with their laptops? I also wonder why fighter jets weren’t scrambled… like for a hijacking situation!
Intelligence of city government: can’t sell homes for $1.00. Stipulations have consequences…
Department of Justice denies city’s right to move to a non-partisan voting format! Claim it’s an unfair election environment for black candidates. I find that odd considering the city voted it in and 2/3rds of residents are African American.
Get ready to pull the trigger on more Fannie Mae stock after another bailout!
After 63 years of displaying a Nativity scene in the median of a public road across from a Church, a Michigan man was ordered to remove it due to the Road Commission denying him a permit based on violation of Church and state.
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