and brings tears to my eyes as well...
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Pop term of the day:
Upper Case voice
Upper Case voice
Noun. to raise your voice or accentuate part of a sentence to stress significance as you would while typing in the digital world.
"Listen! Don't make me use my Upper Case voice !"
" I got a BRAND NEW car !" she said in her upper case voice.
Unban Dictionary
Unnecessary Humor
An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return her father cussed her. "Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum through?"
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $2 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath) ...and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and..."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff.... a prostitute, Dad! Sniff, sniff."
"Oh! For goodness sake! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a 'Protestant'. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"
h/t AJ
The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff... Dad... I became a prostitute..."
"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family."
"OK, Dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for $2 million. For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club... (takes a breath) ...and an invitation for ye all to spend New Year's Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and..."
"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad.
Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff.... a prostitute, Dad! Sniff, sniff."
"Oh! For goodness sake! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a 'Protestant'. Come here and give yer old man a hug!"
h/t AJ
Friday, September 25, 2009
Unnecessary Humor
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.
"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. " I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"
I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.
"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."
"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"
I was equally outraged.
"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.
"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!)
"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!"
"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.
"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
"Oh, gross!" they shrieked
We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.
"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.
"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.
"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.
"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.
"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know.
"Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.
"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.
The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.
"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.
"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. . .Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.
We were silent, absorbing this.
"So, Ernie's just . just . . . excited," my wife offered.
"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
Tears were now running down her face. "It's just .that . ..
I'm picturing you pulling on its . . . its. . teeny little . . "
She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car.. He was glad everything was going to be okay.
"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.
"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
Two lizards: $140.
One cage: $50.
Trip to the vet: $30.
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie:
Priceless!
Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.
Lizards lay eggs!
h/t GJ
"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. " I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"
I put my best lizard-healer expression on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.
"Honey," I called, "come look at the lizard!"
"Oh, my gosh!" my wife exclaimed. "She's having babies."
"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"
I was equally outraged.
"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I said accusingly to my wife.
"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired (I think she actually said this sarcastically!)
"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!"
"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.
"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me (Again with the sarcasm!).
By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.
"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience," I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."
"Oh, gross!" they shrieked
We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.
"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.
"It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.
"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.
"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.
"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know.
"Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)
"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap.
"Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.
The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.
"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.
"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?"
I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.
"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.
"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen. . .Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um . . um . . . masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.
We were silent, absorbing this.
"So, Ernie's just . just . . . excited," my wife offered.
"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.
More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.
Tears were now running down her face. "It's just .that . ..
I'm picturing you pulling on its . . . its. . teeny little . . "
She gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.
"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the vet and hurriedly bundled the lizard and our son back into the car.. He was glad everything was going to be okay.
"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you did, Dad," he told me.
"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.
Two lizards: $140.
One cage: $50.
Trip to the vet: $30.
Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie:
Priceless!
Moral of the story: Pay attention in biology class.
Lizards lay eggs!
h/t GJ
Of Interest
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Several horrifying ways for men to improve their sex life…
The Horror! Several hundred "anarchists" protesting the G20 without a permit in Pittsburg. Police tell them to disperse and fire tear gas canisters, pepper spray and even shoot rubber bullets when they don't obey. Is this still the land of the free or does that take a permit as well?
4 reasons why winning the Mega Millions lottery would suck
The U.S. government will have issued $7 trillion in bonds by the time the current fiscal year ends next week… Go ahead keep blaming it on Bush…
Are you a racist? Here’s a frank conversation…worthy of your time.
Randy Quaid and wife arrested for skipping out on a hotel bill…kicking and screaming?
Twitter of the day comes from the Whitehouse: “PERAB asks for your ideas on tax reform for their 9/30 meeting. Serious ideas? Now’s your chance” An interesting statement that has me LMAO, “They were instructed not to consider options that involve raising taxes on families making less than $250,000 per year. So be mindful of their constraints when submitting ideas.”
U.S. Backing Small
Swedish Car Company,
Al Gore gets them half a billion...
Swedish Car Company,
Al Gore gets them half a billion...
WASHINGTON ~ A tiny car company backed by former Vice President Al Gore has just gotten a $529 million U.S. government loan to help build a hybrid sports car in Finland that will sell for about $89,000.You have got to be shitting me! Does this piss you off as much as it does me? Sending $529,000,000.00 to Sweden to help them build cars!
Don't keep our tax dollars at home, send the money overseas. I don't care if it is a loan, it needs to benefit the American people or American business, not other countries or politicians!
This is the change and redistribution of wealth we were promised! Our Congress is sending what's left of America's wealth overseas! May the sonsabitches burn in hell!
Pop term of the day: cyberchondriac
Someone who spends their time searching medical websites for diseases they convince themselves they actually have
Similiar to a hyperchondriac
'Then i went on this website and found out that i actually have diabetes AND chronic fatigue!'
'Dude...you're a cyberchondriac'
Urban Dictionary
Email of the month
I received this by email from an unnamed source, not the author.
Friends & Fellow Americans,
When the storm finally hits (and it will), those of you who supported the Obama administration will be affected as well. It won’t just be us gun owners or Fair Taxers, or Pro-Lifers that get hit. You’ll be right there next to us.
You see, you all thought the Conservatives were nut cases. You know, all of us who believe in God, small government, the Second Amendment, etc. And you thought you could just go back to sleep after the election was over. In your world, America will continue as before. You’ll still have the same rights, the same nice house, the same big screen television – it’s all good. After all, your high school football team won and the other team lost – go team! Even if you have bothered to look up from the daily grind since Nov 4th, you dismissed everything that has occurred as “politics as usual” – “the same old stuff”.
In the end, it’ll all be OK won’t it?
Not this time. There are a growing number of citizens in the US that are ready to fight to shut down the government’s grab of personal freedom, it’s blatant abuse of the constitution, and it’s attempt to replace the American way of life with socialism. You have to listen carefully to hear them, but they are there. I won’t start that fight, but when it goes down I will join it.
As for you, why… you’ll be shocked because you didn’t see it coming. And eventually you’ll be saddened when you see that we have truly lost the way of life with which you grew up. You’ll be saddened that your children and grandchildren live in a socialist, government-controlled gulag where their every movement from cradle to grave is tracked by the government. But most of all, you’ll be saddened by the death of friends and relatives who are brave enough to fight and die for something they believe in.
You know, McCain wasn’t much of a candidate. I’ll give you that. He was the lesser of two evils for most of us. I don’t blame you for not voting for him since, at the time, you didn’t know what we all know now. But at least John McCain was an American. He was a supporter of the American way of life and he understood that you can’t negotiate with terrorists. He understood and appreciated the sacrifice made by my father and other members of the Greatest Generation.
Mark my words friends. All across America groups are forming. They are forming out of anger and out of desperation at the thought of losing America. They’re not militia groups, terrorists as the Department of Homeland security would have you believe; they are Americans, loyal to the constitution. They are mothers and fathers and grandparents. They belong to groups like the Minutemen Civil Defense Corps, the Patriotic Resistance, the Constitution Party, the Young Conservatives, the 9/12 Project, and Grassfire. Right now they are fragmented, each focused on their own cause. But sometime in the next two years, our government is going to do something really stupid and these groups will come together. Watch for it, wait for it…get ready. It will happen.
When that event happens, whatever “it” is, our great country is going to plunge into chaos for a while. I pray to God that we make it through that time and emerge a stronger, smarter country.
Jerry Wilson
Ozark, Missouri
Live Free or Die Fighting
jerrywilson@centurytel.net
The skeptic in me decided to send an email to Mr. Wilson to see if it was real or not. Here is the reply I received:
Yes, it’s a real address and I am probably the author of the message you received. Here’s a little background. My original message was entitled The Gathering Storm. The “Warning” message to which you refer is a combination of that message and some verbiage appended by an unknown person. I agree with everything that they wrote, I just wish they hadn’t published it in conjunction with my piece. I have attached my original for clarification.
The Gathering Storm message was sent by me in early June to 30 friends bcc i.e., privately. One of those friends took the message, added my rank and Navy affiliation and posted it on a nationally read website. (I would never use my rank or Navy affiliation with this type of message because it might mislead someone into thinking that I am an active duty Navy officer when I am actually retired. There’s a difference.)
I have been receiving responses from all over the United States for the last two months – almost all of them favorable. The message itself was not especially powerful from my viewpoint but it has moved over 200 people to contact me. Clearly, something in the piece resonates with a lot of people.
I wish I had a solid answer regarding current events but I just don’t know. One thing is clear to me – our country has changed dramatically and for the worse within the last year. It is no longer about politics and political parties – Republican, Democrat – it doesn’t matter much anymore. The United States government is out of control.
The other thing that is clear to me is that we will not be able to get it back under control through the normal political process. We can’t vote it back. When the government establishes a program or a regulation, it almost always has an infinite life. In other words, we can’t get the government out of the private sector now that they have taken over General Motors and the banks. Their hold on private enterprise will only grow stronger and tighter in the coming years.
The only thing that will make the government release its hold on “we the people” and return to the Constitution is the fear that we will take action against them if they don’t. As I said in The Gathering Storm, there will be a “trigger” event sometime in the next couple of years. Watch for it – you’ll know it when you see it. When it occurs, do whatever you can to get the government’s attention. And by all means, vote every member of every level of government out of office every chance you get unless you know for a fact that they support the constitution.
Good luck to us all.
Jerry Wilson
Ozark, MO
Live Free or Die Fighting
Friends & Fellow Americans,
When the storm finally hits (and it will), those of you who supported the Obama administration will be affected as well. It won’t just be us gun owners or Fair Taxers, or Pro-Lifers that get hit. You’ll be right there next to us.
You see, you all thought the Conservatives were nut cases. You know, all of us who believe in God, small government, the Second Amendment, etc. And you thought you could just go back to sleep after the election was over. In your world, America will continue as before. You’ll still have the same rights, the same nice house, the same big screen television – it’s all good. After all, your high school football team won and the other team lost – go team! Even if you have bothered to look up from the daily grind since Nov 4th, you dismissed everything that has occurred as “politics as usual” – “the same old stuff”.
In the end, it’ll all be OK won’t it?
Not this time. There are a growing number of citizens in the US that are ready to fight to shut down the government’s grab of personal freedom, it’s blatant abuse of the constitution, and it’s attempt to replace the American way of life with socialism. You have to listen carefully to hear them, but they are there. I won’t start that fight, but when it goes down I will join it.
As for you, why… you’ll be shocked because you didn’t see it coming. And eventually you’ll be saddened when you see that we have truly lost the way of life with which you grew up. You’ll be saddened that your children and grandchildren live in a socialist, government-controlled gulag where their every movement from cradle to grave is tracked by the government. But most of all, you’ll be saddened by the death of friends and relatives who are brave enough to fight and die for something they believe in.
You know, McCain wasn’t much of a candidate. I’ll give you that. He was the lesser of two evils for most of us. I don’t blame you for not voting for him since, at the time, you didn’t know what we all know now. But at least John McCain was an American. He was a supporter of the American way of life and he understood that you can’t negotiate with terrorists. He understood and appreciated the sacrifice made by my father and other members of the Greatest Generation.
Mark my words friends. All across America groups are forming. They are forming out of anger and out of desperation at the thought of losing America. They’re not militia groups, terrorists as the Department of Homeland security would have you believe; they are Americans, loyal to the constitution. They are mothers and fathers and grandparents. They belong to groups like the Minutemen Civil Defense Corps, the Patriotic Resistance, the Constitution Party, the Young Conservatives, the 9/12 Project, and Grassfire. Right now they are fragmented, each focused on their own cause. But sometime in the next two years, our government is going to do something really stupid and these groups will come together. Watch for it, wait for it…get ready. It will happen.
When that event happens, whatever “it” is, our great country is going to plunge into chaos for a while. I pray to God that we make it through that time and emerge a stronger, smarter country.
Jerry Wilson
Ozark, Missouri
Live Free or Die Fighting
jerrywilson@centurytel.net
The skeptic in me decided to send an email to Mr. Wilson to see if it was real or not. Here is the reply I received:
Yes, it’s a real address and I am probably the author of the message you received. Here’s a little background. My original message was entitled The Gathering Storm. The “Warning” message to which you refer is a combination of that message and some verbiage appended by an unknown person. I agree with everything that they wrote, I just wish they hadn’t published it in conjunction with my piece. I have attached my original for clarification.
The Gathering Storm message was sent by me in early June to 30 friends bcc i.e., privately. One of those friends took the message, added my rank and Navy affiliation and posted it on a nationally read website. (I would never use my rank or Navy affiliation with this type of message because it might mislead someone into thinking that I am an active duty Navy officer when I am actually retired. There’s a difference.)
I have been receiving responses from all over the United States for the last two months – almost all of them favorable. The message itself was not especially powerful from my viewpoint but it has moved over 200 people to contact me. Clearly, something in the piece resonates with a lot of people.
I wish I had a solid answer regarding current events but I just don’t know. One thing is clear to me – our country has changed dramatically and for the worse within the last year. It is no longer about politics and political parties – Republican, Democrat – it doesn’t matter much anymore. The United States government is out of control.
The other thing that is clear to me is that we will not be able to get it back under control through the normal political process. We can’t vote it back. When the government establishes a program or a regulation, it almost always has an infinite life. In other words, we can’t get the government out of the private sector now that they have taken over General Motors and the banks. Their hold on private enterprise will only grow stronger and tighter in the coming years.
The only thing that will make the government release its hold on “we the people” and return to the Constitution is the fear that we will take action against them if they don’t. As I said in The Gathering Storm, there will be a “trigger” event sometime in the next couple of years. Watch for it – you’ll know it when you see it. When it occurs, do whatever you can to get the government’s attention. And by all means, vote every member of every level of government out of office every chance you get unless you know for a fact that they support the constitution.
Good luck to us all.
Jerry Wilson
Ozark, MO
Live Free or Die Fighting
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Email of the day
CALMNESS IN OUR LIVES
I am passing this on to you because it definitely works, and we could all use a little more calmness in our lives. By following simple advice heard on the Dr. Phil s how, you too can find inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed, "The way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started and have never finished."
So, I looked around my house to see all the things I started and hadn't finished, and before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of my old Prozac prescription, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel. Please pass this on to those whom you think might be in need of inner peace.
h/t TexasJLH
Unnecessary Humor
INVOLUNTARY MUSCULAR CONTRACTIONS
A professor at the University of Mississippi was giving a lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.
Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said, 'Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'Probably deer hunting with his buddies.'
It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom...
h/t Paul
Indoctrination of our youth?
This reminds me of when I was a
kid and we sung "Jesus Loves Me"
He's gonna save America!
This is not the first time children have sung to support their government's leader.
Now remember children, you don't have to say the Pledge of Allegiance and you can't sing God Bless America or pray to God in school! But we will make time and give you a place to praise and pray to Allah if you ask...
h/t Jarhead & Truckmonster
EDIT: More history on the video!
Pop term of the day: impactful
A non-existent word coined by corporate advertising, marketing and business drones to make their work sound far more useful, exciting and beneficial to humanity than it really is. This term is most frequently used in "team building" seminars and conferences in which said drones discuss the most effective ways to convince consumer zombies to purchase crap they clearly do not need or even want.
"The board was convinced that my new ad campaign for arsenic and semen flavored lollipops for tots will be incredibly impactful and will generate heaps of sales."
Of Interest
Human clones… they already live among us in the form of identical twins
From England to Canada, Texas to Indiana, the Church of Satan is alive and well…
GE dredges toxic sludge from Hudson River and ships it to Andrews, Texas! GE, we bring
The most whacked Marine recruiting video I have ever seen! Full of foul Marine language ~ very offensive!
Democrats set example of civility and decorum with constituents at town hall meetings
Who funds the radical left in America?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Pop term of the day: thirst person
The grammatical person, commonly used in status messages on social networking sites, that starts off in the third person (he, she, it) but ends in the first person (I) because ultimately I am writing about myself.
So, my friend hooked up with this girl, and he didn't use protection, and now he says it hurts when he pees. Anyway, do you think I should go to the doctor?
Of Interest
Celebrities who whore it up on Twitter
Bodypainting fascinates me!
Which is worse, a biker wrecking a custom Harley doing a burnout or a pilot dumping his jet in the ocean?
CBS claims there are 5 healthcare promises 0bama won’t keep! Wow, who would have thought it?
Does anyone know why our President is more concerned about getting his healthcare plan passed than our troops fighting in Afghanistan?
For the intellectual who wants to know "Why Blogs Matter"
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
What Union boss will 0bama
choose to be his media Czar?
choose to be his media Czar?
With newspapers posting devastating losses, why not ask for a bailout instead of closing the doors? It’s a win/win/win for government, media moguls and unions. I mean really, what’s a few billion dollars between friends.
It’s very obvious that MSNBC parent company, GE, is enjoying billions in revenue the current administration is throwing at them. Equally obvious is the level of unquestioning devotion MSNBC provides the President and his policies.
The liberal media has always taken the high ground by claiming, “freedom of the press”. Their love affair with the President and a future unemployment check may be just what the doctor ordered to surgically remove the cancer called independence.
I see only one problem. Attentive Americans can smell bullshit a mile away. Many who detest the odor seem to always find a way to remove it at the source, but only after it makes them sick enough to get their hands dirty.
It’s very obvious that MSNBC parent company, GE, is enjoying billions in revenue the current administration is throwing at them. Equally obvious is the level of unquestioning devotion MSNBC provides the President and his policies.
The liberal media has always taken the high ground by claiming, “freedom of the press”. Their love affair with the President and a future unemployment check may be just what the doctor ordered to surgically remove the cancer called independence.
I see only one problem. Attentive Americans can smell bullshit a mile away. Many who detest the odor seem to always find a way to remove it at the source, but only after it makes them sick enough to get their hands dirty.
Pop term of the day:
Keep f**king that chicken
Keep f**king that chicken
Keep up the good work.
Coined by television anchor Ernie Anastos during a live broadcast of the Fox 5 New York local news. (See videos on YouTube.)
News anchor to weatherman: "Great forecast. Keep f**king that chicken."
Urban Dictionary
Of Interest
One never knows what one will see at a college football game on TV, especially in Texas!
Student discipline in Arizona. One for Black and Hispanic students; one for everyone else.
Flowchart of political questions that determine if you are racist.
Would some of you who think capitalism is evil please expain your position to these Cubans.
Humana investigated by HHS for sending a mailer to customers questioning 0bamacare… free speech has a price: attorney’s fees!
Monday, September 21, 2009
Pop term of the day:
Sticker Paralysis
Sticker Paralysis
The effect caused by having a really awesome sticker and no appropriate place to use it. General symptoms include keeping the sticker in a drawer and never actually using it. Sometimes resulting in affixation remorse.
"I have contracted a case of sticker paralysis from this Vintage Apple sticker. I can't decide if I should put it on my fake plastic guitar or my rear window or my skateboard. It is too precious to use on just anything."
Urban Dictionary
Another email from my
dear friend, David Axelrod
dear friend, David Axelrod
Subject: Got a few minutes?
Dear Friend,
Four minutes — that’s all you need to learn just what you get from health insurance reform. Take the few minutes and watch now:
The details the President outlines in this video are those that every American needs to know. No matter your political party or whether or not you have insurance, his plan for health care security and stability matters to all of us.
Millions of American citizens cannot get health insurance — and 14,000 are losing their insurance every day. If we do nothing, half of Americans under the age of 65 will lose their health insurance at some point in the next ten years.
That’s not right. Plain and simple. For Americans with insurance as well as those without it, inaction is not an option. In America, no one should go broke because they get sick.
Bottom line — health insurance reform will provide more security and stability to those who have health insurance, coverage for those who don’t, and will lower the cost of health care for our families, our businesses, and our government.
As the President says, now is the time to deliver the change we need on health care. Forward this email and make sure your family, friends and social networks take four minutes and watch this video.
Thank you,
David
David Axelrod
Senior Adviser to the President
Of Interest
Does scientific proof actually exist showing that women can’t drive?
Five things a man should never tell his new girlfriend.
Do women lie about a guy being too small for sex?
Groups get $1.2 million to help people become U.S. citizens.
0bama foreign policy adviser call on U.S. to shoot down Israeli jets…
Austin police want the identities of online critics… they “erode public trust”. h/t Instapundit
The most horrifying torture devices in the history of man… inhumane or evil?
Who taught you to lie and call people names? Another good read…
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Pop term of the day: pirate bath
The process of washing just the arm pit area and the private area with a wash cloth or handful of water. People will ask you to define a pirate bath, the easy definition is "pits and privates"
Kyle was in a helluva hurry and didn't have time to take a full shower. He instead took a pirate bath and he was on his way.
Urban Dictionary
Burned Biscuits
When I was a little boy, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad.
I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Baby, I love burned biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned? He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
You know, life is full of imperfect things....and imperfect people I'm not the best housekeeper or cook. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!
h/t AJ
I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!
When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Baby, I love burned biscuits."
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned? He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
You know, life is full of imperfect things....and imperfect people I'm not the best housekeeper or cook. What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!
h/t AJ
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