Saturday, February 21, 2009

Flying Motorcycle

I have personally watched Larry Neal fly his machines and I believe he will make history with his innovations. NASA has had him display his prototypes at numerous flying shows. Larry has also lost an engine in mid-air and safely performed an emergency landing. Many of his patents are cutting edge.

Although he did scratch my airplane once...


Why men die first...









He said...She said

He said: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said: You wear pants don't you?

He said: Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said: That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said: Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said: Why don't women blink during foreplay?
She said: They don't have time.

He said: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said: We don't know; it has never happened.

He said: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
She said: A widow.

He said: Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Friday, February 20, 2009

If you have the means...

Home security going green

Humor is under-rated

I don't know who is responsible for this ad,
but they deserve a raise!

Would someone please enlighten me...

Don’t take this the wrong way, but didn’t President Obama tell us that he would be pulling our troops out of the Middle East? Why is he sending 17,000 troops to Afghanistan? Why aren't his liberal constituents raising hell?

What do you think the odds are that the Senate will impeach the only black U.S. Senator for perjury?

How can our President run the country when he spends half the day either on TV or preparing to go on TV?

Should we all quit work and stop making payments on our homes so we can have a piece of the $75 billion stimulus and let them get use a great deal on refinance?

Sam's Club business charge card holders have all been limited to a $500 maximum charge. Is this how the stimulus has freed up the ability of American business to borrow money?

Please tell me why our President flew to Colorado to sign the stimulus bill when it cost taxpayers a minimum $300,000 additionally to make the trip? Do you think the ghosts of President's past would have come back to haunt him if he signed it in the oval office?

Politics and Poetry

No Hard Feelings....

The election day is over,

The talking is done.

My party lost,

your party won.

So let us be friends,

let arguments pass.

I'll hug my elephant,

you kiss your ass.

This is messed up!

My head may explode!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

A marriage based on sharing

He ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink. The old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them..'

As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said they were just fine - They were used to sharing everything.

The surrounding people noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them.. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'

As the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you're waiting for?'

She answered ... 'The teeth.'

Only in America

Only in America....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America....do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

Only in America.....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

You make the call! 1-10










Astrology, Numerology or Moronology?

If you want to know about yourself, you can find out here!

I don't believe in this stuff, but I won't say it's not true. I believe there is a natural order to life and the One who put it in order could have used this system. I don't know. The intelligence of the Designer far surpasses my realm of creativity.

Okay, so I entered my birthday on the website
linked above and here is what it had to say.

Your date of conception was on or about 28 July 1960 which was a Thursday.

You were born on a Thursday
under the astrological sign Aries.
Your Life path number is 5.

Your fortune cookie reads:
You find beauty in ordinary things, do not lose this ability.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2437409.5.
The golden number for 1961 is 5.
The epact number for 1961 is 13.
The year 1961 was not a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/15/1961 and ending 2/4/1962.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Ox.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Beaver; your plant is Wild Clover.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Paony, the second month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 4 Iyyar 5721.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 5 Iyyar 5721.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.17.7.10.5 which is
12 baktun 17 katun 7 tun 10 uinal 5 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Thursday, 4 Dhi'l-Qa'dih 1380 (1380-11-4).


LIFE PATH 5

Does this sound like me?


The Life Path 5 suggests that you entered this plane with a highly progressive mindset, with the attitude and skills to make the world a better place. The key word for your Life Path is freedom. In the pursuit of freedom, you are naturally versatile, adventurous, and advanced in your thinking. You are one of those people who is always striving to find answers to the many questions that life poses. The byword for the positive Life Path 5 is constant change and improvement. You want to be totally unrestrained, as this is the number most often associated with the productive use of freedom.

You may be one of the most compassionate of people as the 5 is surely the most freedom-loving and compassionate Life Path. Your love of freedom extends to humanity at large, and concern for your fellow man, his freedom and his welfare, may be foremost in your mind. A great Life Path 5 American President, Abraham Lincoln, issued the Emancipation Proclamation, and ended slavery in America. As the ultimate progressive thinker type, your potential in government, the law, and other positions of authority is unlimited.

You are a good communicator, and you know how to motivate people around you. This may be your strongest and most valuable trait. Because of this skill, and your amazing wit, you are a truly natural born salesman. This ability to sell and motivate extends to any sort of physical product all the way through to whatever ideas or concepts you may embrace.

You abhor routine and boring work, and you are not very good at staying with everyday tasks that must be finished on time. On the average, the number 5 personality is rather happy-go-lucky; living for today, and not worrying too much about tomorrow. It is also important for you to find a job that provides thought-provoking tasks rather than routine and redundant responsibilities. You do best dealing with people, but the important thing is that you have the flexibility to express yourself at all times. You have an innate ability to think through complex matters and analyze them quickly, but then be off to something new.

A love of adventure may dominate your life. This may take the form of mental or physical manifestation, but in either case, you thrill to the chance for exploration and blazing new trails. Surely you belong to a group considered the most worldly and traveled. Clearly you are not one to pass up a good venture. You have quite a lot of the risk-taker in your makeup. If you aren't putting your money at stake, you are surely open to a wide variety of risks in your everyday life. Taking the conservative approach is just not in your nature.

In romance, you hate to be tied down and restricted. This doesn't necessarily mean that you are unfaithful or promiscuous, but it does mean that a good partner for you needs to understand your nature. A relationship based on jealousy and having tight reigns is not going to work at all for you. A partner who understands your need to be free and trusted will find you trustworthy, even if you aren't constantly available and totally dutiful. It is important for you to mix with people of a like mind, and to try to avoid those that are too serious and demanding.

If you are living on the negative side of the Life Path 5, you are apt to be multitalented, but suffering from some lack of direction, and there is confusion surrounding your ambition. Restless, discontent, and impulsive, you may bounce from one job to the next without accomplishing much at all. A negative Life Path 5 can become very irresponsible in tasks and decisions concerning the home and business life. The total pursuit of sensation and adventure can result in your becoming self-indulgent and totally unaware of the feelings of those around you.

I know... no body gives a damn! I thought it interesting though.

Screw the taxpayer Volume 3

Surprise! Those grand promises politicians and team owners made to taxpayers in their pitches for publicly-funded sports stadiums? They aren't panning out. Reason

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Let me slip this in

On a personal note, I believe I may be putting too much information on some of my posts. It takes so much time to read and process much of the information; I hate being boring! Conscientious bloggers know that posting a good blog takes a lot of time, thought and information worthy of commentary. The quality of the information seems far more significant than the quantity.

As you have probably noticed, I disguise my political position with occasional humorous posts of satire and irrelevance/irreverence. Fortunately, I get most of my comedic material from the many emails I receive. Postworthy news comes much less easy. It's hard to read between the lines and find extrordinary news.

The average reader spends 1.75 minutes reading each of my posts. That tells me humor is much more effective than politics. Reality: politics is much more depressing than racy humor. Once again, I find myself experimenting with this blog to see how much the content and presentation matter.

I may be turning into a people pleaser; unbelievable!

Obama Wealth Spreader


For those unfamiliar with older farm machinery, this is a manure spreader.
For environmentally sensitive folks, it is an "organic waste recycling applicator" for sustainable agriculture practices.

This was the only implement John Deere ever
made that they would not stand behind!

More Unpopular News

Zero Tolerance, Zero Common Sense NRA-ILA


Unbelievers Unwelcome!
..."Arkansas is one of the few states whose constitutions still bar nonbelievers from holding government jobs or testifying in court. ...the others are Tennessee and Texas."
I had no idea about this one… Reason

A new game that I actually enjoy

Talk about an addictive game… play it all the way through and check out your score!
It’s a redneck computer Game

It doesn't get any better than this...

Adorable- adj., please see
the video referenced below.


Pension funds, the next blackhole?

Remember when they told you you pension funds were safe?
Well, not entirely! Cinncinatti News

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Don't talk to me like this

I officially denounce this message!


Libertarianism in an Age of Economic Crisis

I happen to subscribe to this political view...
but as always, I could be wrong. Reason



And then they say this...

Where is PETA when you need them…



____________________


Where is PETA when you need them…
damn sure not in Iceland! It’s too cold… Macho Video


I will tax your brain at 11...

Monday, February 16, 2009

Latest definitions from Webster

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.

INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES: Something other people have, similar to my character lines.

Priceless.... Sad, but priceless!

The difference between owing $30K and $3 trillion?

When you owe the bank $30,000, they own you.
When you owe the bank $30 million, you own them.
Hot Air


Luo Ping, a director-general at the China Banking Regulatory Commission speaking about the U.S. national debt…, “We hate you guys. Once you start issuing $1 trillion-$2 trillion [$1,000bn-$2,000bn] . . .we know the dollar is going to depreciate, so we hate you guys but there is nothing much we can do.” SCSU Scholars

It reminds me of betting on a dying fighting chicken...
great odds, but he died anyway!

In Other Unpopular News

Not one member of Congress has read the Stimulus Bill! Live Leak



Although Americans were guaranteed no earmarks in the P.R.O. Stimulus bill, one small little change was made… “General Motors won a provision that will erase a tax liability of up to $10 billionBloomberg


Remember the part about higher taxes for the rich? “…lawmakers included $70 billion to shelter upper middle-class and wealthier taxpayers from an income tax increase that would otherwise hit them…Star Tribune


What’s the deal with all the lying perjuring politicians from Chicago? MSNBC


California dreaming…and political profiting! Bloomberg

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Braveheart, my all time favorite movie

Here's a present day satire...

Aunt Karen....

A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.

“Tony, do you have a story to share?”

“Yes, ma’am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife ‘til the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

“Good Heavens!” said the horrified teacher. “What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?”

“Stay away from Aunt Karen when she’s drinking!”

Wise County Hog Trappers

PETA be on those boys
like a fly on stink!



These boys also do a little night hunting and even skin a
stinking coyote!