Saturday, February 14, 2009
Crawfishing # 6
Interesting Tulane University Study
A study conducted by Tulane's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.
No further studies are expected.
________________
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four-hour, surgical procedure.
A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies "I don't know, sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, sir!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely... "A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - back?"
For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.
A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four-hour, surgical procedure.
A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies "I don't know, sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, sir!"
The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but listen very, very closely... "A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - back?"
A picture is worth a thousand words
I think this one speaks louder than most....
Friday, February 13, 2009
Reporting From Washington
smart leaders choose sharks!
Many liberal loyalists anticipated jobs in the new administration, but the president has filled out his foreign policy team largely with centrists connected to Clinton or the GOP. L A Times
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Crawfishing # 5
get their feelings hurt?
President Obama's pledge to turn the CIA's involvement in secret detention and torture into a thing of the past was sharply tested today, and critics say he failed miserably. ABC
Not even the Judges could believe it. Reason Our new President is lining up with Bush again, even though he disagreed with the policy before the election. Leave torture to our allies and let's stay out of their business... I agree!
"On his first day in office, Obama issued an executive order forcing individuals to wait two years before they could be hired for the agencies they had lobbied and to remove themselves from involvement in issues related to their former employers."
Talk about skills
Screw the taxpayer! Volume 2
Costing Taxpayers Billions TCS
not for very long!
A panel of three federal judges, saying overcrowding in state prisons has deprived inmates of their right to adequate healthcare, tentatively ruled Monday that the state must reduce the population in those lockups by as many as 57,000 people. L A Times
How's that working out for ya?
Give it up for our new Secretary of Education, Arne Duncan
CBS2 Chicago - "If someone hits a student, they are going to be fired. It's very, very simple," Duncan said.
Before heading to Washington, he vowed to take action.
"Any founded allegation where an adult is hitting a child, hitting a student - they're going to be gone," Duncan said.
But that's not what happened under Duncan's watch. Of the 568 verified cases, only 24 led to termination. Records show one teacher who quote "battered students for several years" was simply given a "warning" by the Board of Education.
If he can't handle Chicago schools, I wonder about the quality of our children's education in our once great nation.
“These judges made it very plain to Mr. Powell that he was going to be required to pay certain monies.”
Do our children really have a chance at life, liberty and the pursuit of justice?
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
What Would Obama Say?
…if he saw his speechwriter groping Hilary in this picture.
Please post your answer...
Thanks Bryann for the heads up!
Constitution Not Applicable to States!
Not Applicable to States CrimProf
I have only one small comment on the subject, best said by Rooster Cogburn in the movie, True Grit,
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Valentine Day's Card Rejects
10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.
3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.
9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.
8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.
7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.
6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.
5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!
4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.
3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".
2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!
1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
In Other Unpopular News...
•Josh Gordon
•September 7, 2008 <<< NOTICE THIS DATE! >>>
AUSTRALIA has been singled out as a target for "forest jihad" by a group of Islamic extremists urging Muslims to deliberately light bushfires as a weapon of terror. The Age
for Home-Loan Refinancing
Bloomberg
“To allow more borrowers to take advantage of today’s historically low interest rates and help the lending community break the logjam in mortgage refinancing, the company is extending its refinance offerings,” Faith said in an e-mailed statement. The program “will streamline” refinancing “for potentially millions of current mortgage holders,” he said.
Please remind me how lowering mortgage payments will help unemployed people make their house payment...
In 1999, the Clinton Administration pressured Fannie Mae to loosen up credit requirements for making home loans. Will the U.S. Government, led by President Obama and his minions, take over our nation's financial institutions in the name of economic stability? Newsweek
To Offset Harm to Wildlife
The Pentagon has been funding Texas A&M University to pay landowners near a Texas military post to protect endangered bird species on their land under a secretive program designed to free the military to conduct training activities that would damage the birds' habitats inside the post's boundaries, documents show. Washington Post
The alternative: "...permanent easements that bar development in perpetuity are known to be more effective in protecting vulnerable species."
Stimulus: $9.7 trillion and rising...
The stimulus package the U.S. Congress is completing would raise the government’s commitment to solving the financial crisis to $9.7 trillion, enough to pay off more than 90 percent of the nation’s home mortgages. Bloomberg
FBI Raided Lobbying Firm Connected to Murtha
where the dirt was swept under! ABC
Monday, February 9, 2009
Winning the war on terror isn't news
What would happen if the U.S. won a war but the media didn't tell the American public? Apparently, we have to rely on a British newspaper for the news that we've defeated the last remnants of al-Qaida in Iraq. Investor’s Business Daily
Law enforcement at its finest!
that law enforcement in that
community stakes out dirt roads!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Bridgeport's Past
this is a must read!
I ran across this letter the other day and thought it to be quite interesting and humorous. Growing up back in the day in Bridgeport was not as boring as one might think. I edited a few places so as not to embarrass or humiliate anyone, but there are some old timers out there that can attest to the stories in this letter.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)