Saturday, February 7, 2009

Romo, Romo, where for art thou...

Jessica melts down on stage…
Oh, the suspense, I hope it lasts! Fox

Here’s what concert goers said…

Poor spoiled little, rich girl...let's all pray for her!

61 U. S. Senators... May you burn in hell!

Three Republican Senators sell out and pledge to vote for the Pelosi-Reid-Obama Stimulus Package. MSNBC

The Republican party traitors are: Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa, Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine and Sen. Olympia Snowe, R-Maine… may you burn in hell for your actions! …before the payoff hits your overseas bank account!

How the fight started

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes', I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person able to go on celebrating that long?'

____________________________



A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, 'Holy Crap! That must be my husband!'

So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed, scared and naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and then started to run as fast as he could to his car. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, well then, why were you running?'

____________________________



I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

Friday, February 6, 2009

Stand Up, Stand Up For...

I just sent our esteemed Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison an email on her website concerning the Pelosi-Reid-Obama Economic Stimulus Bill.

Here is what I wrote:


Thank you for the job you are doing!

As your constituent, I plead with you to not vote for the Pelosi-Reid-Obama Stimulus package or any compromise thereof. The GOP has a great plan that is actually economic stimulus, but the Pelosi-Reid-Obama bill will not work, even with a few hundred billion in compromises.

I promise you that those who vote for the Pelosi-Reid-Obama bill will regret it come election day! I sure won't forget their names
.”

Let me invite you to copy and paste the same message to our Senator at your first opportunity. Here’s the link.

_______________________


In the name of urgency!


What makes anyone think the U. S. Government knows how to properly stimulate the economy when they have already lost 30% of $254 billion taxpayer dollars on the first bailout… that’s almost $80 billion wasted! No telling what happened to the other $500 billion!

_______________________


Don't take my word for it...


Listen to what Peter Schiff, predictor of the economic downfall created by the housing bubble, has to say about the Economic Stimulus bill in this video. Phrases like "Unmitigated Disaster" are widespread… some economists call it “Economic Armageddon”.

New TV ad: Keep Gitmo Open!

It's getting better all the time...




If they move the prisoners, I'm sure Massachusetts or Vermont would love to have them. We know Murtha wants them in Pennsylvania's minimum security prison.

Crawfishing # 4

This may be grey area as to our President going back on his campaign promises...but not in my book!



In this video, Barack Obama made a alarmingly true statement when he said, “You understand that in this election, the greatest risk we can take is to try the same old politics, with the same old players and expect a different result.”

Is this coming soon?

Revolution in America?
It's not impossible...



I don't think this could happen right now with American apathy at an all time high... Yea, I know it's pretty radical but I'm so tired of corrupt, self-serving politicians who are taking away our freedoms, rights and money. Too much blood has been shed for our freedom, only to be taken away by our own government!

What an abomination!

Tough Love...Military Style

WARNING: Obscene language!


How to motivate the troops: Class 101
Class 201 is where he beats hell out of them!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Yust Yoking Sumoar

Nudist Colony


A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony.

On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area.
A gorgeous petite blonde walked by and the man immediately got an erection.

The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, did you call for me?'

The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'

She said, 'You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.' Smiling, she lead him to the side of the swimming pool, laid down on a towel, eagerly pulled him to her and happily let him have his way with her.

Later, the man continued to explore the colony's facilities. He entered the sauna and as he sat down, he farted. Within seconds a huge, hairy man lumbered out of the steam room toward him. 'Did you call for me?' asked the hairy man.

'No, what do you mean?' replied the newcomer.

'You must be new.' answered the hairy man, 'It's a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.' The huge man easily spun him around, put him over a bench and had his way with the newcomer.

The newcomer staggered back to the colony office where he was greeted by a smiling, naked receptionist, 'May I help you?' she asked.

'Here's my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.'

'But, Sir,' she replied, 'you've only been here a few hours. You haven't had a chance to see all our facilities.'

'Listen lady, I'm 68 years old. I only get an erection once a month, but I fart 15 times a day. I'm outta here!'

What a back door slider!

Let me start by saying I don't agree with Art Shamsky's behavior, but I have to confess that I have a certain admiration for any 67 year old man that is still active enough to give his ex-wife an STD.

A few days ago I titled a post “Why Women Rule” and it had a caption of a photo stating “Hell hath no fury…” This is proof of that statement! Did I mention she showed up at a public event recently yelling obscenities at him?

I found her interview quite educational and entertaining. Turns out, he was a "kept" man!

Unity Beyond Diversity

Intelligence knows no boundaries!



I can't stop listening to this guy... the longer he speaks, the more sense he makes. Once again, viewers may be confused by his use of facts!

_______________________



In other news


Women Have Nightmares, Men Dream of Sex… oh really? Fox

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Yust Yokes!

Marriage


The first man married a woman from OHIO. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away.

The second man married a woman from MICHIGAN. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he
didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from TEXAS. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher.

_________________________________



And if that's not enough humor...


A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door. She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, 'I'm very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you and cussing a blue streak at him.' I noticed the 'What Would Jesus Do' bumper sticker, the 'Choose Life' license plate holder, the 'Follow Me to Sunday-School' bumper sticker and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk; naturally...I assumed you had stolen the car.'

Politically Incorrect

I plead guilty!

Crawfishing #3

HEADLINES IN INDIA

Obama appointed more than 17 lobbyists after
talking big on anti-lobbyist, clean Governance


"Dreams are dreams. Facts are facts. President Obama is surrounded by corrupt lobbyists ready to sell America cheap." India Daily
Don't mince words, tell us how you really feel!

After flushing the world economy down the crapper, our government is under a magnifying glass by media around the globe. The world is no longer worshiping our President; they want him held accountable for the change he promised.

I wish our allies would use some of covert operation to expose those in our government who choose to undermine, damage and disgrace our country! After countless trillions were lost worldwide, it would make financial sense to police our politicians. Presently, much of the corruption is suppressed, discounted or ignored.

It's bad enough that 90% of the world wish us harm; sadly, our own politicians do much more damage!

Thank you Hot Air for the original post.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Survey says...

USA Today has a survey that asks, “Does the Second Amendment give individuals the right to bear arms?” Over 1 millions votes have been cast… can you guess the percentages?

Go take the survey and then leave a comment. I think you will find it surprising...

This pill is hard to swallow!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't the financial downfall of the United States triggered by our government pressuring financial institutions to loan hundreds of billions of dollars on homes that borrowers could not repay.

President Obama said, "Lenders tricked people into buying homes they couldn't afford and some folks knew they couldn't afford them and bought them anyway"?


IS HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF?


“House Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank said President Barack Obama will require banks receiving government aid to lend more to businesses and consumers…” Bloomberg

I can understand the reasoning, put the money back into play. What I cannot get my head around is why anyone would allow someone as dishonest or clueless as Barney Frank to be in a position to make the recession worse.

One final suggestion to all my friends in the blogosphere: Borrow as much as you can before declaring bankrupsy.

Obama: Crawfish #1 & #2

Obama's campaign Web site states. "As president, Obama will not sign any non-emergency bill without giving the American public an opportunity to review and comment on the White House website for five days." Sunlight Before Signing

But that's the first thing he did. Politifact


__________________



Crawfish #2 is a biggie!

...and soon to come.


Do you remember this statement? “If you make less than a quarter of a million dollars a year, you will not see a single dime of your taxes go up.

If you guessed Barack Obama, you're right: October 7, 2008, Presidential debate.

It didn't take long to crawfish on that promise! Americans for Tax Reform

I don't smoke, so it doesn't effect me, but I do have a couple of problems with him raising this tax.

First, the average median smoker makes around $36,000 a year and one in four is at poverty level. $.61 a pack is more than "a single dime".

Next, if he doesn't put the American tobacco industry out of business, the new tax will slow sales and produce employee layoffs.

I don’t have a problem with spending the money on indigent children’s healthcare; but I do have a problem with including families making over $60,000 a year. Wikipedia

With unemployment hitting double digits this year, the 11 million low to middle class children they target will grow to 30 million completely uninsured children...so get ready for the pricetag to skyrocket.

Lastly, watch for more store robberies and theft. If you can't afford your cigarettes, just steal them.

But I could be wrong...

Economic stimulus solution?

After reading an article in The Colorado Independent, it is obvious to me where hundreds of billions in stimulus money could be used to provide immediate economic relief, defer more home foreclosures and actually provide food for families' tables.

Factors in place:


State unemployment trust funds are already depleted and our economic crisis is predicted to last at least through 2010.

Unemployment payments could very easily double as layoffs escalate. We're talking as much as 30-50 billion per month.

The federal government has extended unemployment benefits to 20 weeks.

Unemployment benefits will not go into a savings account, it will be put right back in the economy for living expenses.

It meets the 3 "T" Formula for economic stimulus: timely, temporary and targeted.

No new social programs or oversight expenses are required, although the unemployment offices need more staffing.

Everyone knows exactly where the money will be spent.

The federal government is going to bail out states unemployment trust funds anyway!


Problems with this solution


The Stimulus money:

does not grow government.

does not create enough jobs.

does not allow for non-discresional spending.

is not the idea of a Democratic congressman.

does not benefit political contributors or special interest groups.

_________________________



Mark my words, if unemployment benefit shortfalls aren't addressed in this stimulus package, we will see at least one more stimulus/bailout package that will.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Golf Club Sign...

This is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale, Arizona:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

WELL DONE. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, & TEE OFF.

The Great American Ripoff Bailout!

Sharky, in his infinite wisdom, has posted information on his blog where concerned people can send a letter to President Pelosi Obama and/or sign a petition against the proposed stimulus bill at NoStimulus.com.

Economist Dan Mitchell
tries to confuse people with facts!



Did I forget to mention that the "Stimulus Package" aids illegal aliens immigrants.

Bailed-out banks sought foreign workers! Bring workers in from overseas and pay them less...now that's economic stimulus! MSNBC

Mondays Ironies...

Obama’s offer to talk to Iran shows
U S has failed!



I can actually remember what old man McCain called it… "reckless, and demonstrates poor judgment that will make the world more dangerous." CNN

Mr. President, I don't think Mahmoud Ahmadinejad cares what you have to say...unless he can use your words to make us look weak. I seem to recall that the Ayatollah Khoeyniha had a similar whipping boy named Jimmy Carter.


________________________



What Constitutes a Hate Crime?


How did I miss this one? It must not have been very important.



The media and defense attorneys make it sound like the rape and murder of this couple was because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Okay, that means it was either accidental or the fault of the victims...sounds reasonable to me!

________________________



Entertainment observation


Mrs. Crane and I saw “Gran Torino” last Saturday and it was quite a remarkable movie. It seems obvious to me the Academy Awards snubbed Clint due to the racist overtones of the film. The voters had no idea that it would be the most profitable movie made in 2008; hence Eastwood knows how revenge is best served… in cold, hard cash. I'm sure Spike was happy he didn't make the cut...although Hollywood keeps score by profit.

Superbowl observations!

With all the politically correct policies taking over our society, am I the only person who was shocked and delighted that God Bless America was sung and aired at this year's Superbowl?

________________________


NBC actually refused to run a commercial for PETA due to its suggestive content! I applaud their stance, but I still don't believe it. U S World News

________________________


I also noticed the cameras showing a group of Steelers kneeling in prayer during the game...will lawsuits follow or footwashing basins? I prefer religious freedom, no matter how unpopular!

________________________


The NFL officially sanctioned the Superbowl Gospel Celebration. Check out the video.

________________________


Top 10 Superbowl Ads of All Time MSNBC Thought I would throw this in for those who have time to remember.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Why Arabs throw rocks!







Math Engineering Problem

Conditions:

A backhoe weighing 22 tons is on top of a lowboy trailer and heading east on Interstate 70 near Hays, Kansas.

The extended shovel arm is made of hardened refined steel and the approaching overpass is made of commercial-grade concrete, reinforced with 1 1/2 inch steel rebar spaced at 6 inch intervals in a criss-cross pattern layered at 1 foot vertical spacing.

Solve: When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have to be going to slice the bridge in half? (Assume no effect for headwind and no braking by the driver...)

Extra Credit: Solve for the time and distance required for the entire rig to come to a complete stop after hitting the overpass at the speed calculated above.

Yes, you can neglect friction.










I couldn't solve it either...but who cares, the pictures are great!